My suggestion would be; instruct your agent or booker to get you appearances in any of the political campaign videos, so you can put to use that floppy behind your mama gave you. And if you are lucky enough, you can get cameos and wiggle that thing around the aspirants themselves. You have to get your bum (sorry your hands) bloodied to earn the highly coveted “Political prostitute” tag. Now my Candilicious Afrolistic baybay, these are a few names of the latest political prostitutes in the country: Olamide, Banky W, Don Jazzy, Flavour, Duncan Mighty, D banj, Mercy Johnson, Ibinabo, Ini Edo, Mama Gee, Naeto C, Joseph Yobo, Daddy Showkey, Kanu Nwankwo, and Sammie Okposo.
I have been asked several times if our celebs should get
involved with politics. But today, let me push the same question in different
words to everyone reading this article. Do politicians making affiliations with
celebs prompt you to vote for them? For me, it’s a definite No. Nigerians are
not influenced by celebs to indulge in certain acts because their favourite
celeb says so. For instance, I like Kate Henshaw but expecting me to vote for a
candidate she supports in the forthcoming elections is like asking me to start
buying a particular milk brand because Don Jazzy endorsed it. Puh-leez, things
like that don’t cut it here in Naija. Naija is a different kettle of fish
compared to what is obtainable in places like the US.
The politicians using celebs for their campaigns should ask
themselves what on earth the average person has got in common with Dbanj. He
has millions and he may never have to lift a finger again in his life if he so
desires.
And you think the boys in Okokomaiko who are not smiling will listen
to his unrealistic rants on TV and radio? Using a celeb for election campaigns
is as stupid as the political aspirants themselves dancing in their campaign
musical videos. Imagine Jimmy Agbaje and Ambode dancing in their campaign
videos? Ok, I am sorry, no imagination is needed. I feel sorry for the
politicians that Nigerians are not fooled by all the media images of celebs
pushed at them every day on TV. It has become so much that we can’t tell the
difference anymore between political campaign videos and the Nigerian musical
videos.
The only cocktail of politics and celebrity that the masses
are bound to endorse is that of creating useful awareness that will benefit the
larger society. People like Bono have political views which bring attention to
real, humanitarian issues that transcend the established political doctrines
and have nothing to do with producing those plastic karaoke like political
jingles our entertainers are paid to produce. Those entertainers who see nothing
wrong in frolicking with politicians will say I am speaking from a misguided
perspective. Go ahead, defend your support for that politician. Tell me you are
campaigning for change. You can’t fool anyone but yourselves.
Hey, my Afro Candilicious baybay, you go ahead with your
trade okay? Don’t let the criticisms of your fellow entertainers bother you
anymore. Tell them your porn is definitely a kinder and gentler version when
placed side by side with their political prostitution. Now, good day ladies and
gentlemen. Please don’t forget to tip the waitress on your way out.
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