“Love worketh no ill to his neighbour; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law”, Romans 13 vs 10.
 IF only we know what love is. We sing about it, write about it, enjoy  what it feels like but really don’t know love at all. Love is lived.  Love has laws. There is a way of loving. It has a mix that relieves, and  help us overcome whatever thing people say love does to them. Jesus  said if we have love for another, people will know we are His disciples.  When I teach or write about relationships, I pause to ask if it is  worth anything at all. Romances are best sellers but the hatred,  bitterness, unforgiveness, betrayal, that accompanies our individual  stories is alarming. People can’t stay in a marriage for love’s sake.  The reason is actually because we don’t know how it goes. We know what  we feel but don’t know what to do with it or how to keep the good  feeling on. In my usual way, I will like to share few tips on what  things I suggest we apply in our love adventure and I sure do believe it  will help.
 First, realize that love is all that matters. When properly defined,  love means an outgoing of yourself to make another person happy or  better. We should realize that is the greatest, and last commandment  given to us. All religions in the world will agree that if we mastered  love, we have attained perfection. We can only be perfect when we truly  love. All our self-righteous rags, and long sermonizing about sin and  iniquity won’t change the world until we learn about how to love – 1st  John 3 vs 11, 23, James 2 vs 8.
 It is a doing command. It is something we must do, not just what we  feel towards the opposite sex. That’s why most romantic relationships  don’t end well. We need to learn how to love our neighbours, friends,  parents, siblings, and even enemies before we can properly love our  spouses. Love is a character. It is learnt by practice. We grow in it.  (1st John 3 vs 18). We do as love should do. Be kind, generous,  forgiving, tolerant and lenient. We should also be truthful, loyal and  protective.
 It is Christ’s kind of love. I am a Christian.  The one who believes  that Jesus is Lord and Saviour. And what He says matters to me a lot.  Whatever is said about Him in the bible is my interest. We are to love  as Christ loves. Other examples of love will fall short of sincerity and  truth. Christ’s love is a love that lays down, gives up, and  surrenders, to the benefit of the one that is loved. (1st John 3 vs 16)
 It is a ‘giving’ call. If we truly love, we will give – our time,  resources, our very self. It is usually sacrificial, the love that will  win divine approval. (1st John 3 vs 17).
 It is an ‘ACT’ of faith (James 2 vs 15 – 17; Romans 10 vs 12). It  believes and accepts people no matter where they come from. Does not  recognize ‘caste’ system or whatever class distinction. It is not just  praying for people but doing things to help, to ease, to show concern  for another person. It is not just ‘words’ of faith as we are taught to  use, but acts, a demonstration of faith. The bible describes faith as  love in action towards the needy.
 Doesn’t harm (Romans 13 vs 10). Please, let’s learn not to offend one  another, or hurt one another. When we love people, we try not to do  them ill. Infact, we think our words through before we utter them. It  will give us no joy if the person we love is in pain, or angry because  of our action or word. If in any case we realize that we have stepped on  the toes of someone we love, we quickly apologize; the happiness of the  one we love is important to us.
 Love speaks louder than every conviction or expression of religious  pioneers, (1st Corinthians 13 vs 1 – 10). What an orator, who can soothe  a tear! What a visioneer who can see the heart! How often people  respect our gifts and bow to us in reverence to our spiritual power but  people can’t live with you peaceably. Your claim to holiness threatens  them. No one can work with you, not because you are doing what is right  but because you are harsh, unforgiving, difficult, and lack sympathy.  Some people don’t commit adultery but are simply difficult to work or  live with. There is no beauty in their supposed holiness.
 You have to look in a particular way to be able to love (Mark 10 vs  21 – 22). If you look at every detail, you won’t love anyone. There are  things you have to look away from. How do you see a baby? How do you see  their mistakes? Why is it easy to love children, because there is a way  we look at them. There are things we refuse to see. If we want to truly  love people, we have to look at them from an angle of their humanness,  uniqueness, specialty, and overlook some of their excesses and weakness.
 You can make someone love you by loving them. The price of love is  love (Hebrew 10 vs 24). We stir up love in people. Love your wife, it  will come back to you. Respect your husband, it will come back to you.  Love him, he won’t want to hurt you. Deliberately practice love acts,  whether you feel like it or not.
 Love should be lasting (Hebrew 13 vs 1). Let it continue. Nothing is  real if it doesn’t last. When Shaka Zulu’s mother died, he cried  “nothing is real, nothing is permanent, everything dies if you could  die”. Love is not worth it, if it is not eternal. Believe me. It is only  when we continue living can we leave a lasting legacy.
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