Ebola: Spouses of dead Nigerian victims test positive

TVC NEWS ABUJA]- Nigeria's Minister of Health,. Onyebuchi Chukwu, has said that there are two new confirmed cases of the Ebola Virus Disease in the country.
Chukwu at a press briefing in Abuja on Thursday morning, said the confirmed cases had had secondary contact with the index case, the Liberian-American, Patrick Sawyer.
Chukwu said, “The two patients are spouses of those that had primary contacts with Sawyer. They are among the secondary contacts that have been under surveillance.
“This now brings to four the total number of Ebola patients currently under treatment at the isolation ward.
“This also means that the total number of cases of EVD cases so far reported in the country to 14.”
The minister also noted that five people have died of the viral disease in Nigeria while the number of those successfully managed and discharged also stands at five.
He stated that the Federal Government was working with the Lagos State Government and other partners to maintain vigilance and strengthen containment activities.

Ebola: Spouses of dead Nigerian victims test positive

TVC NEWS ABUJA]- Nigeria's Minister of Health,. Onyebuchi Chukwu, has said that there are two new confirmed cases of the Ebola Virus Disease in the country.
Chukwu at a press briefing in Abuja on Thursday morning, said the confirmed cases had had secondary contact with the index case, the Liberian-American, Patrick Sawyer.
Chukwu said, “The two patients are spouses of those that had primary contacts with Sawyer. They are among the secondary contacts that have been under surveillance.
“This now brings to four the total number of Ebola patients currently under treatment at the isolation ward.
“This also means that the total number of cases of EVD cases so far reported in the country to 14.”
The minister also noted that five people have died of the viral disease in Nigeria while the number of those successfully managed and discharged also stands at five.
He stated that the Federal Government was working with the Lagos State Government and other partners to maintain vigilance and strengthen containment activities.

Ebola – What they are not telling you

Canadian scientists have shown that the deadliest form of the ebola virus could be transmitted by air between species. This is not the information on your telly. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the infection gets into humans through close contact with the blood, secretions, organs and other bodily fluids.
Right now in West Africa the worst Ebola outbreak in history is in full swing and is jumping borders at an alarming rate. Already it has spread to four countries, Guinea, Liberia, Sierra Leone and now Nigeria. This latest jump into Nigeria is particularly serious since the infected individual carried the virus by plane to Lagos Nigeria, a city with a population of over 21 million. Doctors without borders has referred to the outbreak as “out of control”
A study conducted in 2012 showed that Ebola was able to travel between pigs and monkeys that were in separate cages and were never placed in direct contact.

Though the method of transmission in the study was not officially determined, one of the scientists involved, Dr. Gary Kobinger, from the National Microbiology Laboratory at the Public Health Agency of Canada, told BBC News that he believed that the infection was spread through large droplets that were suspended in the air. 

“What we suspect is happening is large droplets; they can stay in the air, but not long; they don’t go far,” he explained. “But they can be absorbed in the airway, and this is how the infection starts, and this is what we think, because we saw a lot of evidence in the lungs of the non-human primates that the virus got in that way.”

Translation:  if you are in a room with someone infected with Ebola, you are not safe, even if you never touch them or their bodily fluids. 

This isnt good news if you live in Lagos. I think people should start wearing surgical masks until we are sure the virus is contained. Its better to be safe than sorry.

Ebola Facts:

• Symptoms include high fever, bleeding and central nervous system damage
• Fatality rate can reach 90%
• Incubation period is two to 21 days
• There is no vaccine or cure
• Supportive care such as rehydrating patients who have diarrhoea and vomiting can help recovery
• Fruit bats are considered to be virus’ natural host

Ebola – What they are not telling you

Canadian scientists have shown that the deadliest form of the ebola virus could be transmitted by air between species. This is not the information on your telly. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the infection gets into humans through close contact with the blood, secretions, organs and other bodily fluids.
Right now in West Africa the worst Ebola outbreak in history is in full swing and is jumping borders at an alarming rate. Already it has spread to four countries, Guinea, Liberia, Sierra Leone and now Nigeria. This latest jump into Nigeria is particularly serious since the infected individual carried the virus by plane to Lagos Nigeria, a city with a population of over 21 million. Doctors without borders has referred to the outbreak as “out of control”
A study conducted in 2012 showed that Ebola was able to travel between pigs and monkeys that were in separate cages and were never placed in direct contact.

Though the method of transmission in the study was not officially determined, one of the scientists involved, Dr. Gary Kobinger, from the National Microbiology Laboratory at the Public Health Agency of Canada, told BBC News that he believed that the infection was spread through large droplets that were suspended in the air. 

“What we suspect is happening is large droplets; they can stay in the air, but not long; they don’t go far,” he explained. “But they can be absorbed in the airway, and this is how the infection starts, and this is what we think, because we saw a lot of evidence in the lungs of the non-human primates that the virus got in that way.”

Translation:  if you are in a room with someone infected with Ebola, you are not safe, even if you never touch them or their bodily fluids. 

This isnt good news if you live in Lagos. I think people should start wearing surgical masks until we are sure the virus is contained. Its better to be safe than sorry.

Ebola Facts:

• Symptoms include high fever, bleeding and central nervous system damage
• Fatality rate can reach 90%
• Incubation period is two to 21 days
• There is no vaccine or cure
• Supportive care such as rehydrating patients who have diarrhoea and vomiting can help recovery
• Fruit bats are considered to be virus’ natural host

Ebola Virus: US man tested in Ghana

A US citizen is being tested for the Ebola virus in Ghana, which has had no confirmed cases of the virus in the current West African outbreak.
The man has been quarantined at the private Nyaho Clinic in the capital, Accra, health officials say.
The virus has so far killed more than 460 people since it broke out in Guinea in February and spread to neighbouring Liberia and Sierra Leone.
It is the world’s deadliest outbreak to date and there is no cure for Ebola.
The US embassy in Accra said it had been informed that a US citizen was being tested but would not give any more details, Reuters news agency reports.
‘Under control’
The man was believed to have visited Guinea and Sierra Leone in recent weeks.
Ghana’s health ministry said it had put in place “precautionary measures” and people should stay calm.
Staff at the clinic had also been quarantined and provided with protective clothing, it added in a statement.

Source: Reuters

Ebola Virus: US man tested in Ghana

A US citizen is being tested for the Ebola virus in Ghana, which has had no confirmed cases of the virus in the current West African outbreak.
The man has been quarantined at the private Nyaho Clinic in the capital, Accra, health officials say.
The virus has so far killed more than 460 people since it broke out in Guinea in February and spread to neighbouring Liberia and Sierra Leone.
It is the world’s deadliest outbreak to date and there is no cure for Ebola.
The US embassy in Accra said it had been informed that a US citizen was being tested but would not give any more details, Reuters news agency reports.
‘Under control’
The man was believed to have visited Guinea and Sierra Leone in recent weeks.
Ghana’s health ministry said it had put in place “precautionary measures” and people should stay calm.
Staff at the clinic had also been quarantined and provided with protective clothing, it added in a statement.

Source: Reuters

The Power of a Banana

Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes. But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
DEPRESSION

According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
bananas help depression
PMS:
Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
ANEMIA
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
BLOOD PRESSURE:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
BRAIN POWER

bananas help brain power
200 students at a Twickenham school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
CONSTIPATION
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
HEARTBURN
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
MORNING SICKNESS
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
MOSQUITO BITES:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
HANGOVERS
bananas good for hangovers
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
NERVES
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system..
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
ULCERS
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chroniclercases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
TEMPERATURE CONTROL
Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has FOUR TIMES the protein, TWICE the carbohydrate, THREE TIMES the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around so maybe it’s time to change that well-known phrase to, “A BANANA a day keeps the doctor away!”

The Power of a Banana

Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes. But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
DEPRESSION

According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
bananas help depression
PMS:
Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
ANEMIA
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
BLOOD PRESSURE:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
BRAIN POWER

bananas help brain power
200 students at a Twickenham school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
CONSTIPATION
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
HEARTBURN
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
MORNING SICKNESS
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
MOSQUITO BITES:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
HANGOVERS
bananas good for hangovers
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
NERVES
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system..
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
ULCERS
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chroniclercases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
TEMPERATURE CONTROL
Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has FOUR TIMES the protein, TWICE the carbohydrate, THREE TIMES the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around so maybe it’s time to change that well-known phrase to, “A BANANA a day keeps the doctor away!”

Photos: Naval Pilot who died in the Airforce helicopter crash buried

Late Flight Lieutenant Onyeka Nwakile, the Naval Pilot who died in the Air Force Mi-35 Helicopter crash on July 21st in Bama, Borno, was laid to rest at the National Military Cemetery in Abuja today.

Present at the burial ceremony were High Commanding Naval officers, family members and close friends. May his soul rest in peace..Amen.

Photos: Naval Pilot who died in the Airforce helicopter crash buried

Late Flight Lieutenant Onyeka Nwakile, the Naval Pilot who died in the Air Force Mi-35 Helicopter crash on July 21st in Bama, Borno, was laid to rest at the National Military Cemetery in Abuja today.

Present at the burial ceremony were High Commanding Naval officers, family members and close friends. May his soul rest in peace..Amen.

‘My Husband Would Ask Me To Sleep On The Mat Whenever He Brings Another Woman Home’

A housewife, Busayo Ogunjobi, has urged an Ado-Ekiti Customary Court in Ekiti State to dissolve her 13-year-old marriage to Ayodele Ogunjobi over alleged frequent beating and adultery.

Twenty-six-year-old Busayo also urged the court to dissolve the marriage over her husband’s alleged lack of care for the only child of the union.

She told the court that Ayodele was fond of going about with different women, adding that anytime her husband came home with a woman, he would ask her to sleep on the mat.
“My lord, anytime my husband brought home a woman, he would ask me to sleep on the mat so that the woman  can sleep on our matrimonial bed,’’ she said.
She told the court that Ayodele denied being the biological father of the only child of their marriage.
According to her, Ayodele abandoned her and the child when the child was three months old.
Ayodele, 32, denied beating his wife because of another woman.
He told the court he did not believe  the said child was his, adding that  he did some private investigations which did not favour the petitioner.
This he said was the reason he did not provide for the upkeep of both mother and child.
The court’s president, Mr Joseph Ogunsimi, adjourned the case till  February 11 for further hearing.
THis is more like an old update but still has its lessons and questions to ask.....Whats your take on this readers?

‘My Husband Would Ask Me To Sleep On The Mat Whenever He Brings Another Woman Home’

A housewife, Busayo Ogunjobi, has urged an Ado-Ekiti Customary Court in Ekiti State to dissolve her 13-year-old marriage to Ayodele Ogunjobi over alleged frequent beating and adultery.

Twenty-six-year-old Busayo also urged the court to dissolve the marriage over her husband’s alleged lack of care for the only child of the union.

She told the court that Ayodele was fond of going about with different women, adding that anytime her husband came home with a woman, he would ask her to sleep on the mat.
“My lord, anytime my husband brought home a woman, he would ask me to sleep on the mat so that the woman  can sleep on our matrimonial bed,’’ she said.
She told the court that Ayodele denied being the biological father of the only child of their marriage.
According to her, Ayodele abandoned her and the child when the child was three months old.
Ayodele, 32, denied beating his wife because of another woman.
He told the court he did not believe  the said child was his, adding that  he did some private investigations which did not favour the petitioner.
This he said was the reason he did not provide for the upkeep of both mother and child.
The court’s president, Mr Joseph Ogunsimi, adjourned the case till  February 11 for further hearing.
THis is more like an old update but still has its lessons and questions to ask.....Whats your take on this readers?

11 Ways to Deal with an Angry Spouse

What happens when your spouse has a storm brewing inside of him or her? How do you deal with the out of nowhere outbursts, punishing silent treatment and hurtful words? How can you have a loving relationship when your spouse’s anger is running rampant? Is your only choice to grin and bear it or should you pack your bags and leave your angry spouse?

If you know that this angst is a foreign entity and it will not escalate into physical or verbal abuse, and if your relationship is truly worth saving because you know that there is no greater love, then here are eleven tips to help you stay afloat during those ebbs and flows.
1. Create a reflection space for yourself. Create a place in your home where you can reflect on the good in your spouse and your relationship. Put favorite photos of the two of you or other cherished mementoes there. Create a playlist of love songs that send you down memory lane or make you want to turn off the lights Teddy Pendergrass style. Envision the husband or wife who made you laugh, wrote you love poems, supported your aspirations, and stayed up all night with your sick child so you could get some rest. Let those recollections weave through your heart so that your spouse’s season of anger won’t overwhelm you.
2. Don’t personalize your spouse’s anger. Don’t buy into the “If only’s.” If only I was a better cook, cleaned the house more, made more money, lost weight, etc., my spouse wouldn’t be so full of rage. The changes you make may make your spouse happy momentarily, but the root of his or her anger is much deeper, and the changes you make are only a temporary fix.
3. Although it may be difficult not to, don’t lash back. When you refuse to be a combater your spouse will have no choice but to calm down and interact with you in a more positive way.
4. Discuss with your spouse the importance of leaving a legacy of what a healthy relationship looks like for your children. Discuss negative traits that were passed on to both of you from your extended families and how it affected each of your lives. Talk about ways you can break the cycle and not pass these negative traits on.
5. Validate, validate, validate. Sometimes those who are the angriest and the most unlovable need the most validation. Your spouse may seem confident, but when you peel back the layers, there may be a lot of insecurities, so focus on making more positive comments than negative. You can also gift your spouse with a self-help book to help change his or her inner mindset.
Fill your spouse’s life with laughter. Laughter is healing. Put funny jokes on the refrigerator, text jokes to each other, make silly faces, watch a Kevin Hart or Tyler Perry movie. It’s hard to stay mad when you’re laughing so hard it hurts in a good and healthy way.
7. Write your spouse a letter. A letter is less confrontational and you can get your points across without being cut off. Try not to point the finger but voice your concerns about how you feel.
8. Don’t be a scapegoat. If you did something to anger your spouse admit it, ask for forgiveness, and make amends. But don’t be so ridden with guilt about your transgressions that you allow him or her to verbally abuse you. Be loving but firm about setting boundaries in how you will be treated.
9. Get intervention. If your spouse can’t get a handle his or her anger, seek help from a counselor. Even if your spouse refuses to accompany you, go so that you’ll learn ways to cope.
10. Don’t expect perfection. There’ll be days when your spouse’s anger is triggered due to just the daily grind of living. Put the children to bed early or go for a drive and allow him or her to vent. Be that listening ear he or she may need.
11. Love your spouse unconditionally. We would never stop loving our two year old for throwing a temper tantrum, or our sixteen year old for rebelling. We would be there, even when they try our patience. Find ways to show your spouse how much you appreciate him or her and don’t forget to get the children involved. The little ones can make cards, the older ones can cook a special dinner. In time, with your unwavering love and prayers and constructive countermeasures, your spouse’s angry outbursts will be few and far between.
Source: blackandmarriedwithkids.com

11 Ways to Deal with an Angry Spouse

What happens when your spouse has a storm brewing inside of him or her? How do you deal with the out of nowhere outbursts, punishing silent treatment and hurtful words? How can you have a loving relationship when your spouse’s anger is running rampant? Is your only choice to grin and bear it or should you pack your bags and leave your angry spouse?

If you know that this angst is a foreign entity and it will not escalate into physical or verbal abuse, and if your relationship is truly worth saving because you know that there is no greater love, then here are eleven tips to help you stay afloat during those ebbs and flows.
1. Create a reflection space for yourself. Create a place in your home where you can reflect on the good in your spouse and your relationship. Put favorite photos of the two of you or other cherished mementoes there. Create a playlist of love songs that send you down memory lane or make you want to turn off the lights Teddy Pendergrass style. Envision the husband or wife who made you laugh, wrote you love poems, supported your aspirations, and stayed up all night with your sick child so you could get some rest. Let those recollections weave through your heart so that your spouse’s season of anger won’t overwhelm you.
2. Don’t personalize your spouse’s anger. Don’t buy into the “If only’s.” If only I was a better cook, cleaned the house more, made more money, lost weight, etc., my spouse wouldn’t be so full of rage. The changes you make may make your spouse happy momentarily, but the root of his or her anger is much deeper, and the changes you make are only a temporary fix.
3. Although it may be difficult not to, don’t lash back. When you refuse to be a combater your spouse will have no choice but to calm down and interact with you in a more positive way.
4. Discuss with your spouse the importance of leaving a legacy of what a healthy relationship looks like for your children. Discuss negative traits that were passed on to both of you from your extended families and how it affected each of your lives. Talk about ways you can break the cycle and not pass these negative traits on.
5. Validate, validate, validate. Sometimes those who are the angriest and the most unlovable need the most validation. Your spouse may seem confident, but when you peel back the layers, there may be a lot of insecurities, so focus on making more positive comments than negative. You can also gift your spouse with a self-help book to help change his or her inner mindset.
Fill your spouse’s life with laughter. Laughter is healing. Put funny jokes on the refrigerator, text jokes to each other, make silly faces, watch a Kevin Hart or Tyler Perry movie. It’s hard to stay mad when you’re laughing so hard it hurts in a good and healthy way.
7. Write your spouse a letter. A letter is less confrontational and you can get your points across without being cut off. Try not to point the finger but voice your concerns about how you feel.
8. Don’t be a scapegoat. If you did something to anger your spouse admit it, ask for forgiveness, and make amends. But don’t be so ridden with guilt about your transgressions that you allow him or her to verbally abuse you. Be loving but firm about setting boundaries in how you will be treated.
9. Get intervention. If your spouse can’t get a handle his or her anger, seek help from a counselor. Even if your spouse refuses to accompany you, go so that you’ll learn ways to cope.
10. Don’t expect perfection. There’ll be days when your spouse’s anger is triggered due to just the daily grind of living. Put the children to bed early or go for a drive and allow him or her to vent. Be that listening ear he or she may need.
11. Love your spouse unconditionally. We would never stop loving our two year old for throwing a temper tantrum, or our sixteen year old for rebelling. We would be there, even when they try our patience. Find ways to show your spouse how much you appreciate him or her and don’t forget to get the children involved. The little ones can make cards, the older ones can cook a special dinner. In time, with your unwavering love and prayers and constructive countermeasures, your spouse’s angry outbursts will be few and far between.
Source: blackandmarriedwithkids.com

Must Read – Who Recovers Faster from Heartbreak – Men or Women?

Lately I have heard a lot of women say that men struggle more with moving on. You always see situations where the man just won’t let go no matter how hard the woman tries to tell him it’s over. It could be years since the breakup, and that man is still trying to get her back and make something happen.

Of course, we see women struggle too …but on the surface they seem to reach a point where they have moved on a lot quicker, well that is what many believe. They shed plenty of tears and experienced many sleepless nights. But now they appear to have accepted that it’s over. However, I don’t believe women recover faster than men. I also don’t believe men are better at moving on either. There are a lot of misunderstandings that lead to a belief that one moves on faster than the other, but lets take a deeper look.
Many women eventually learn the skill of “managing their emotions”. They have enough experiences of being emotionally vulnerable that they understand how to deal with them (in a way that they are “comfortable” with). They also learn how to take greater control by not putting themselves in emotionally vulnerable positions.
In many cases, when that woman experiences heartbreak with a man she is truly in love with (has a deep and genuine connection with him) there is only so much she is willing to deal with emotionally. She has addressed her feelings to a certain extent, but she isn’t willing to deal with it anymore and wants to get her “emotional control” back.
When she reaches that “this is enough” point, it would seem to others that she has moved on. What is actually happening, in many cases, is that she is simply stuffing her feelings away in an emotional closet. She will then lock the door and find enough distractions (work, kids, another man, etc) to allow her to believe and portray that she is “over it”. In reality, the feelings are still there and the right kind of moment/event can bust that door wide open.
The thing is other people may never witness when that moment occurs. That woman may do everything in her power to not let anyone see what is going on inside of her (maybe a very close friend will catch a glimpse). She will have her “moment” and then she will proceed to place everything back in that closet, lock the door, and get back to her distractions.
With men it is a little different. Men are not typically raised to be in touch with their emotions and many struggle with learning how to manage them. They are taught to “suck it up” “man up” and simply suppress what they feel without addressing it at all. Add that to the fact that a lot of men don’t find themselves “in love” with a woman many times in their life. So when it does happen, this emotional vulnerability is very foreign and rare to them.
So for this to occur and end in disappointment, the man may find it all very difficult to handle. Some will wear it on their sleeve because they don’t know, haven’t learned, or believe they shouldn’t contain this emotion that they are now experiencing. Others will just attempt to suppress the pain because that is what they know how to do. They will pretty much attempt the same stuffing of the emotional closet that I stated with the women. The difference is when the door busts wide open, it is likely to be seen one way or another.
They haven’t learned the same “emotional control” that a lot of women have because they are not accustomed to dealing with emotions like this. Not to mention all of the other things they may have already stuffed in their emotional closet. This doesn’t allow for this new situation to stay in as easily.
Basically, because women are typically raised to deal with their emotions they learn how to organize their closet. They can keep more tucked away in it without it breaking the door down as quickly and easily. Whereas men are more likely to just throw stuff in there. This creates an inability to keep it all in as consistently and may generate bigger outbursts of emotion (verbal abuse, physical abuse, struggles with heartbreak, etc).
Ultimately, I don’t believe either gender recovers faster than the other when it involves a person they had a genuine and deep connection with. I won’t rule out that some cases may vary and sometimes the approach can be reversed. For the most part, I just believe that men and women handle it differently and it produces different results from what we are able to see. It may seem that a person has “moved on” and on the surface they may have. I believe in many situations if we took a deeper look you would find that the feelings actually still exist and the recovery never fully occurred.
Whats your take on this Skazyupdate readers????
Source: Blackandmarriedwithkids.com