Vag*na Is A Prison But Sex Is Not A Death Sentence

 

A couple who just married are trying to have sex for the first time.

The wife is a virgin so the man is finding it difficult convincing her to let him in.

"My love, you know I'm a virgin."

"Ehen?" the angry man answers.

"I don't know anything about sex so I would like you to explain it to me first?"

The man smiled.

"I will," he coughs. "When it comes to sex, the vagina is 'the prison' while my penis can be called 'the prisoner'.

The wife nods in understanding.

"So if we want to have sex, we will put the prisoner into the prison. Let's try it now"

That is how they had sex for the first time.

After ejaculating, the man removes his penis. He smiled feeling awesome but his wife pinches him.

"Sweetheart, the prison is too empty. The prisoner has escaped too soon."

The husband is happy to have a second chance.

"Oh, really? Let's imprison him again then."

So they have sex the second time. Again, the man ejaculates and like the first time, the wife pinches him again.

"Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

For the third time, the man puts the prisoner in the prison, panting like a horse.

The man is out of breath and is already feeling pain. As he ejaculats, the wife turns to him and says.

"Let's imprison the prisoner again."

"What" he screamed. "Did I tell you the prisoner was handed a death sentence?"

LMAO!

Vag*na Is A Prison But Sex Is Not A Death Sentence

 

A couple who just married are trying to have sex for the first time.

The wife is a virgin so the man is finding it difficult convincing her to let him in.

"My love, you know I'm a virgin."

"Ehen?" the angry man answers.

"I don't know anything about sex so I would like you to explain it to me first?"

The man smiled.

"I will," he coughs. "When it comes to sex, the vagina is 'the prison' while my penis can be called 'the prisoner'.

The wife nods in understanding.

"So if we want to have sex, we will put the prisoner into the prison. Let's try it now"

That is how they had sex for the first time.

After ejaculating, the man removes his penis. He smiled feeling awesome but his wife pinches him.

"Sweetheart, the prison is too empty. The prisoner has escaped too soon."

The husband is happy to have a second chance.

"Oh, really? Let's imprison him again then."

So they have sex the second time. Again, the man ejaculates and like the first time, the wife pinches him again.

"Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

For the third time, the man puts the prisoner in the prison, panting like a horse.

The man is out of breath and is already feeling pain. As he ejaculats, the wife turns to him and says.

"Let's imprison the prisoner again."

"What" he screamed. "Did I tell you the prisoner was handed a death sentence?"

LMAO!

4 Bad Habits You Must Stop Before You Lose Your Lover

 

You must realize that there's a right way to love... the right way to keep your relationship on.

However, there are also some things that we do which may poison whatever love we have built.

If you are in a relationship with someone you'll like to have forever, then you ought to continue reading and see if you have any of these 4 habits that can kill your romance:

1. It's Always About Sex And Sex: Yes, we all love sex, both men and women. However, if you are one of those people that only think about sex and will make every opportunity to gun for sex, you're surely on a long thing. keep your sex stories to yourself. It is worse if you find it difficult to communicate with your partner when sex is not part of the topic.
2. You Can't Keep Your Eyes Off Other Women/Men: It is true that your eyes will stray to other women now and then, but it is bad if you make it every time. Talking about features of other women/men you love, especially those lacking in your partner is like underling their deficiencies.
3. You Always Talk About Yourself And Your Big Dreams: Women like guys with great ambitions, especially if they see you have practical plans towards seeing them through. Same thing for men. But everyone hates to hear about pipe dreams. Don't always talk about some mighty vision or target if you have have no means to see it through. Stop it.
4. You Are Threading The Path Of Chauvinism: Okay, so you think women are inferior to women, that is bad enough. To now rub it into the face of your partner is unfair. Women especially hate it when they're given demeaning nicknames or their opinions are disregarded without good reason. Guys also do not find it funny when a woman turns radical-feminist. It's not good.

So if you're in one of the above categories... it's time to grown up and be the good lover.

4 Bad Habits You Must Stop Before You Lose Your Lover

 

You must realize that there's a right way to love... the right way to keep your relationship on.

However, there are also some things that we do which may poison whatever love we have built.

If you are in a relationship with someone you'll like to have forever, then you ought to continue reading and see if you have any of these 4 habits that can kill your romance:

1. It's Always About Sex And Sex: Yes, we all love sex, both men and women. However, if you are one of those people that only think about sex and will make every opportunity to gun for sex, you're surely on a long thing. keep your sex stories to yourself. It is worse if you find it difficult to communicate with your partner when sex is not part of the topic.
2. You Can't Keep Your Eyes Off Other Women/Men: It is true that your eyes will stray to other women now and then, but it is bad if you make it every time. Talking about features of other women/men you love, especially those lacking in your partner is like underling their deficiencies.
3. You Always Talk About Yourself And Your Big Dreams: Women like guys with great ambitions, especially if they see you have practical plans towards seeing them through. Same thing for men. But everyone hates to hear about pipe dreams. Don't always talk about some mighty vision or target if you have have no means to see it through. Stop it.
4. You Are Threading The Path Of Chauvinism: Okay, so you think women are inferior to women, that is bad enough. To now rub it into the face of your partner is unfair. Women especially hate it when they're given demeaning nicknames or their opinions are disregarded without good reason. Guys also do not find it funny when a woman turns radical-feminist. It's not good.

So if you're in one of the above categories... it's time to grown up and be the good lover.

4 Sex Tips To Create Orgasms With Your Lover This Weekend

 

"TGIF" people like me who work all through the weekend will say — for good reason too.

During the week, you wake up early and get back late... and too tired for any physical activity, sex inclusive. This can create a gap between you and your lover, especially if sex is a factor in your relationship.

But then, since you cannot quit your job, you can make the weekend an explosive one.

How? Here we go...

1. Enter The Doggy Style: Aren’t you tired of the conventional, missionary style sex? It is booooooring and you need to try something new. Some people may not consider the doggy style, but it is one of the best positions to guarantee you and your partner maximum sexual satisfaction. And women love it. Even the ones who have not tried it will appreciate it because it is a short route to hitting the G-spot.
2. Get Wet Together... In The Shower: Sex in the shower is something you should try this weekend. Getting wet together and having some fun afterwards will prove very rewarding. There's is something very intimate about taking a shower together. So  get away from the bedroom for once.. your bath-tub has calling for greater things than just bathing. Watch out for the slippery floor though.
3. It's Time For Oral Sex: If you have not been adding oral sex to the sex menu, the weekend is a good time to try it out with your partner. A good mouth job has a more lasting effect than 'proper sex' and it can lead to intense arousal. But try to get a shower first.
4. Some Porn Is Good For You: Hmm, this one... do you know that both men and women like sex?  Do you also know that it is a good turn on for most people. You might start with less hard core movies like Spartacus and move on to the Kamasutra kind. It's relaxing and you can learn a few daring things there.

Wink!

So people, go home and give your partner orgasms that will last whole week...but don't tell anyone you heard these things from Wha'anda.

See you

4 Sex Tips To Create Orgasms With Your Lover This Weekend

 

"TGIF" people like me who work all through the weekend will say — for good reason too.

During the week, you wake up early and get back late... and too tired for any physical activity, sex inclusive. This can create a gap between you and your lover, especially if sex is a factor in your relationship.

But then, since you cannot quit your job, you can make the weekend an explosive one.

How? Here we go...

1. Enter The Doggy Style: Aren’t you tired of the conventional, missionary style sex? It is booooooring and you need to try something new. Some people may not consider the doggy style, but it is one of the best positions to guarantee you and your partner maximum sexual satisfaction. And women love it. Even the ones who have not tried it will appreciate it because it is a short route to hitting the G-spot.
2. Get Wet Together... In The Shower: Sex in the shower is something you should try this weekend. Getting wet together and having some fun afterwards will prove very rewarding. There's is something very intimate about taking a shower together. So  get away from the bedroom for once.. your bath-tub has calling for greater things than just bathing. Watch out for the slippery floor though.
3. It's Time For Oral Sex: If you have not been adding oral sex to the sex menu, the weekend is a good time to try it out with your partner. A good mouth job has a more lasting effect than 'proper sex' and it can lead to intense arousal. But try to get a shower first.
4. Some Porn Is Good For You: Hmm, this one... do you know that both men and women like sex?  Do you also know that it is a good turn on for most people. You might start with less hard core movies like Spartacus and move on to the Kamasutra kind. It's relaxing and you can learn a few daring things there.

Wink!

So people, go home and give your partner orgasms that will last whole week...but don't tell anyone you heard these things from Wha'anda.

See you

Health

University of Chicago Summary: A new study suggests the difference between love and lust might be in the eyes. Specifically, where your date looks at you could indicate whether love or lust is in the cards. The new study found that eye patterns concentrate on a stranger’s face if the viewer sees that person as a potential partner in romantic love, but the viewer gazes more at the other person’s body if he or she is feeling sexual desire. Share This Email to a friend Facebook Twitter Google+ Print this page More options UChicago researchers analyzed eye movements and found patterns in how subjects experienced feelings of romantic love or sexual desire. In this image, a viewer’s eyes fixate mostly on the faces of a couple that evokes feelings of romantic love. Credit: Courtesy of Stephanie Cacioppo [Click to enlarge image] Soul singer Betty Everett once proclaimed, "If you want to know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss." But a new study by University of Chicago researchers suggests the difference between love and lust might be in the eyes after all. Specifically, where your date looks at you could indicate whether love or lust is in the cards. The new study found that eye patterns concentrate on a stranger's face if the viewer sees that person as a potential partner in romantic love, but the viewer gazes more at the other person's body if he or she is feeling sexual desire. That automatic judgment can occur in as little as half a second, producing different gaze patterns. "Although little is currently known about the science of love at first sight or how people fall in love, these patterns of response provide the first clues regarding how automatic attentional processes, such as eye gaze, may differentiate feelings of love from feelings of desire toward strangers," noted lead author Stephanie Cacioppo, director of the UChicago High-Performance Electrical NeuroImaging Laboratory. Cacioppo co-authored the report, now published online in the journal Psychological Science, with colleagues from UChicago's Departments of Psychiatry and Psychology, and the University of Geneva. Previous research by Cacioppo has shown that different networks of brain regions are activated by love and sexual desire. In this study, the team performed two experiments to test visual patterns in an effort to assess two different emotional and cognitive states that are often difficult to disentangle from one another -- romantic love and sexual desire (lust). Male and female students from the University of Geneva viewed a series of black-and-white photographs of persons they had never met. In part one of the study, participants viewed photos of young, adult heterosexual couples who were looking at or interacting with each other. In part two, participants viewed photographs of attractive individuals of the opposite sex who were looking directly at the camera/viewer. None of the photos contained nudity or erotic images. In both experiments, participants were placed before a computer and asked to look at different blocks of photographs and decide as rapidly and precisely as possible whether they perceived each photograph or the persons in the photograph as eliciting feelings of sexual desire or romantic love. The study found no significant difference in the time it took subjects to identify romantic love versus sexual desire, which shows how quickly the brain can process both emotions, the researchers believe. But analysis of the eye-tracking data from the two studies revealed marked differences in eye movement patterns, depending on whether the subjects reported feeling sexual desire or romantic love. People tended to visually fixate on the face, especially when they said an image elicited a feeling of romantic love. However, with images that evoked sexual desire, the subjects' eyes moved from the face to fixate on the rest of the body. The effect was found for male and female participants. "By identifying eye patterns that are specific to love-related stimuli, the study may contribute to the development of a biomarker that differentiates feelings of romantic love versus sexual desire," said co-author John Cacioppo, the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor and director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience. "An eye-tracking paradigm may eventually offer a new avenue of diagnosis in clinicians' daily practice or for routine clinical exams in psychiatry and/or couple therapy." Co-author Mylene Bolmont, a graduate student at the University of Geneva, Switzerland, contributed to the design of the study, conducted the testing and data collection for the study, and assisted with the data analyses.

Health

University of Chicago Summary: A new study suggests the difference between love and lust might be in the eyes. Specifically, where your date looks at you could indicate whether love or lust is in the cards. The new study found that eye patterns concentrate on a stranger’s face if the viewer sees that person as a potential partner in romantic love, but the viewer gazes more at the other person’s body if he or she is feeling sexual desire. Share This Email to a friend Facebook Twitter Google+ Print this page More options UChicago researchers analyzed eye movements and found patterns in how subjects experienced feelings of romantic love or sexual desire. In this image, a viewer’s eyes fixate mostly on the faces of a couple that evokes feelings of romantic love. Credit: Courtesy of Stephanie Cacioppo [Click to enlarge image] Soul singer Betty Everett once proclaimed, "If you want to know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss." But a new study by University of Chicago researchers suggests the difference between love and lust might be in the eyes after all. Specifically, where your date looks at you could indicate whether love or lust is in the cards. The new study found that eye patterns concentrate on a stranger's face if the viewer sees that person as a potential partner in romantic love, but the viewer gazes more at the other person's body if he or she is feeling sexual desire. That automatic judgment can occur in as little as half a second, producing different gaze patterns. "Although little is currently known about the science of love at first sight or how people fall in love, these patterns of response provide the first clues regarding how automatic attentional processes, such as eye gaze, may differentiate feelings of love from feelings of desire toward strangers," noted lead author Stephanie Cacioppo, director of the UChicago High-Performance Electrical NeuroImaging Laboratory. Cacioppo co-authored the report, now published online in the journal Psychological Science, with colleagues from UChicago's Departments of Psychiatry and Psychology, and the University of Geneva. Previous research by Cacioppo has shown that different networks of brain regions are activated by love and sexual desire. In this study, the team performed two experiments to test visual patterns in an effort to assess two different emotional and cognitive states that are often difficult to disentangle from one another -- romantic love and sexual desire (lust). Male and female students from the University of Geneva viewed a series of black-and-white photographs of persons they had never met. In part one of the study, participants viewed photos of young, adult heterosexual couples who were looking at or interacting with each other. In part two, participants viewed photographs of attractive individuals of the opposite sex who were looking directly at the camera/viewer. None of the photos contained nudity or erotic images. In both experiments, participants were placed before a computer and asked to look at different blocks of photographs and decide as rapidly and precisely as possible whether they perceived each photograph or the persons in the photograph as eliciting feelings of sexual desire or romantic love. The study found no significant difference in the time it took subjects to identify romantic love versus sexual desire, which shows how quickly the brain can process both emotions, the researchers believe. But analysis of the eye-tracking data from the two studies revealed marked differences in eye movement patterns, depending on whether the subjects reported feeling sexual desire or romantic love. People tended to visually fixate on the face, especially when they said an image elicited a feeling of romantic love. However, with images that evoked sexual desire, the subjects' eyes moved from the face to fixate on the rest of the body. The effect was found for male and female participants. "By identifying eye patterns that are specific to love-related stimuli, the study may contribute to the development of a biomarker that differentiates feelings of romantic love versus sexual desire," said co-author John Cacioppo, the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor and director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience. "An eye-tracking paradigm may eventually offer a new avenue of diagnosis in clinicians' daily practice or for routine clinical exams in psychiatry and/or couple therapy." Co-author Mylene Bolmont, a graduate student at the University of Geneva, Switzerland, contributed to the design of the study, conducted the testing and data collection for the study, and assisted with the data analyses.

Lola Omotayo's message to haters

The mother of two, married to Peter Okoye, posted the message above on her instagram page.

Lola Omotayo's message to haters

The mother of two, married to Peter Okoye, posted the message above on her instagram page.

Pics: Serena Williams & Kim K put their massive cakes on display

The two stars shared pics of their big butts on their respective instagram pages. Serena's photo was taken while on holiday in Croatia over the weekend, while Kim's is a throwback from her holiday in Thailand earlier this year. Can you tell which is Kim's & which is Serena's? See full pics after the cut

 

Pics: Serena Williams & Kim K put their massive cakes on display

The two stars shared pics of their big butts on their respective instagram pages. Serena's photo was taken while on holiday in Croatia over the weekend, while Kim's is a throwback from her holiday in Thailand earlier this year. Can you tell which is Kim's & which is Serena's? See full pics after the cut

 

Photos: EFCC declares two wanted over N3.2million fraud

Find the EFCC press release below...

The public is hereby notified that the duo of John Samson Akpan and Monday Idaresit Ekpo aka “Boyce,” managing director, Elite Concrete Lifestyle Ltd, whose photographs appear above are wanted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) in a case of criminal conspiracy, obtaining money under false pretence and fraud.

The two, alongside five others, are alleged to have defrauded one Alhaji Umaru Garkuwa, a Bureau De Change Operator, of the sum of Three Million, Two Hundred and Ninety Thousand Naira (3,290,000.00).

Fair complexioned John Samson Akpan is from Akwa Ibom state. His last known address is No. 20, Unity Road, Ikeja, Lagos State, Nigeria.

Monday Idaresit Ekpo aka “Boyce,” is chocolate complexioned and also hails from Akwa Ibom.
His last known addresses are No. 5, Ogun Street, Osborne Freshore Estate, Ikoyi, and 12, Atinuke Street, Ikeja, both in Lagos.

Anybody with useful information as to his whereabouts should contact the Commission in its Enugu, Kano, Lagos, Gombe, Port Harcourt and Abuja offices or through these numbers 09-4604620, 070-26350721,070-26350722,070-

26350723,070-6350724, 070-26350725 ; its e-mail address: info@efccnigeria.org or the nearest Police Station and other security agencies.

Photos: EFCC declares two wanted over N3.2million fraud

Find the EFCC press release below...

The public is hereby notified that the duo of John Samson Akpan and Monday Idaresit Ekpo aka “Boyce,” managing director, Elite Concrete Lifestyle Ltd, whose photographs appear above are wanted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) in a case of criminal conspiracy, obtaining money under false pretence and fraud.

The two, alongside five others, are alleged to have defrauded one Alhaji Umaru Garkuwa, a Bureau De Change Operator, of the sum of Three Million, Two Hundred and Ninety Thousand Naira (3,290,000.00).

Fair complexioned John Samson Akpan is from Akwa Ibom state. His last known address is No. 20, Unity Road, Ikeja, Lagos State, Nigeria.

Monday Idaresit Ekpo aka “Boyce,” is chocolate complexioned and also hails from Akwa Ibom.
His last known addresses are No. 5, Ogun Street, Osborne Freshore Estate, Ikoyi, and 12, Atinuke Street, Ikeja, both in Lagos.

Anybody with useful information as to his whereabouts should contact the Commission in its Enugu, Kano, Lagos, Gombe, Port Harcourt and Abuja offices or through these numbers 09-4604620, 070-26350721,070-26350722,070-

26350723,070-6350724, 070-26350725 ; its e-mail address: info@efccnigeria.org or the nearest Police Station and other security agencies.

The Law Of Love

“Love worketh no ill to his neighbour; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law”, Romans 13 vs 10.
IF only we know what love is. We sing about it, write about it, enjoy what it feels like but really don’t know love at all. Love is lived. Love has laws. There is a way of loving. It has a mix that relieves, and help us overcome whatever thing people say love does to them. Jesus said if we have love for another, people will know we are His disciples. When I teach or write about relationships, I pause to ask if it is worth anything at all. Romances are best sellers but the hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness, betrayal, that accompanies our individual stories is alarming. People can’t stay in a marriage for love’s sake. The reason is actually because we don’t know how it goes. We know what we feel but don’t know what to do with it or how to keep the good feeling on. In my usual way, I will like to share few tips on what things I suggest we apply in our love adventure and I sure do believe it will help.
First, realize that love is all that matters. When properly defined, love means an outgoing of yourself to make another person happy or better. We should realize that is the greatest, and last commandment given to us. All religions in the world will agree that if we mastered love, we have attained perfection. We can only be perfect when we truly love. All our self-righteous rags, and long sermonizing about sin and iniquity won’t change the world until we learn about how to love – 1st John 3 vs 11, 23, James 2 vs 8.
It is a doing command. It is something we must do, not just what we feel towards the opposite sex. That’s why most romantic relationships don’t end well. We need to learn how to love our neighbours, friends, parents, siblings, and even enemies before we can properly love our spouses. Love is a character. It is learnt by practice. We grow in it. (1st John 3 vs 18). We do as love should do. Be kind, generous, forgiving, tolerant and lenient. We should also be truthful, loyal and protective.
It is Christ’s kind of love. I am a Christian.  The one who believes that Jesus is Lord and Saviour. And what He says matters to me a lot. Whatever is said about Him in the bible is my interest. We are to love as Christ loves. Other examples of love will fall short of sincerity and truth. Christ’s love is a love that lays down, gives up, and surrenders, to the benefit of the one that is loved. (1st John 3 vs 16)
It is a ‘giving’ call. If we truly love, we will give – our time, resources, our very self. It is usually sacrificial, the love that will win divine approval. (1st John 3 vs 17).
It is an ‘ACT’ of faith (James 2 vs 15 – 17; Romans 10 vs 12). It believes and accepts people no matter where they come from. Does not recognize ‘caste’ system or whatever class distinction. It is not just praying for people but doing things to help, to ease, to show concern for another person. It is not just ‘words’ of faith as we are taught to use, but acts, a demonstration of faith. The bible describes faith as love in action towards the needy.
Doesn’t harm (Romans 13 vs 10). Please, let’s learn not to offend one another, or hurt one another. When we love people, we try not to do them ill. Infact, we think our words through before we utter them. It will give us no joy if the person we love is in pain, or angry because of our action or word. If in any case we realize that we have stepped on the toes of someone we love, we quickly apologize; the happiness of the one we love is important to us.
Love speaks louder than every conviction or expression of religious pioneers, (1st Corinthians 13 vs 1 – 10). What an orator, who can soothe a tear! What a visioneer who can see the heart! How often people respect our gifts and bow to us in reverence to our spiritual power but people can’t live with you peaceably. Your claim to holiness threatens them. No one can work with you, not because you are doing what is right but because you are harsh, unforgiving, difficult, and lack sympathy. Some people don’t commit adultery but are simply difficult to work or live with. There is no beauty in their supposed holiness.
You have to look in a particular way to be able to love (Mark 10 vs 21 – 22). If you look at every detail, you won’t love anyone. There are things you have to look away from. How do you see a baby? How do you see their mistakes? Why is it easy to love children, because there is a way we look at them. There are things we refuse to see. If we want to truly love people, we have to look at them from an angle of their humanness, uniqueness, specialty, and overlook some of their excesses and weakness.
You can make someone love you by loving them. The price of love is love (Hebrew 10 vs 24). We stir up love in people. Love your wife, it will come back to you. Respect your husband, it will come back to you. Love him, he won’t want to hurt you. Deliberately practice love acts, whether you feel like it or not.
Love should be lasting (Hebrew 13 vs 1). Let it continue. Nothing is real if it doesn’t last. When Shaka Zulu’s mother died, he cried “nothing is real, nothing is permanent, everything dies if you could die”. Love is not worth it, if it is not eternal. Believe me. It is only when we continue living can we leave a lasting legacy.
IF Ministry
08027173447.

The Law Of Love

“Love worketh no ill to his neighbour; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law”, Romans 13 vs 10.
IF only we know what love is. We sing about it, write about it, enjoy what it feels like but really don’t know love at all. Love is lived. Love has laws. There is a way of loving. It has a mix that relieves, and help us overcome whatever thing people say love does to them. Jesus said if we have love for another, people will know we are His disciples. When I teach or write about relationships, I pause to ask if it is worth anything at all. Romances are best sellers but the hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness, betrayal, that accompanies our individual stories is alarming. People can’t stay in a marriage for love’s sake. The reason is actually because we don’t know how it goes. We know what we feel but don’t know what to do with it or how to keep the good feeling on. In my usual way, I will like to share few tips on what things I suggest we apply in our love adventure and I sure do believe it will help.
First, realize that love is all that matters. When properly defined, love means an outgoing of yourself to make another person happy or better. We should realize that is the greatest, and last commandment given to us. All religions in the world will agree that if we mastered love, we have attained perfection. We can only be perfect when we truly love. All our self-righteous rags, and long sermonizing about sin and iniquity won’t change the world until we learn about how to love – 1st John 3 vs 11, 23, James 2 vs 8.
It is a doing command. It is something we must do, not just what we feel towards the opposite sex. That’s why most romantic relationships don’t end well. We need to learn how to love our neighbours, friends, parents, siblings, and even enemies before we can properly love our spouses. Love is a character. It is learnt by practice. We grow in it. (1st John 3 vs 18). We do as love should do. Be kind, generous, forgiving, tolerant and lenient. We should also be truthful, loyal and protective.
It is Christ’s kind of love. I am a Christian.  The one who believes that Jesus is Lord and Saviour. And what He says matters to me a lot. Whatever is said about Him in the bible is my interest. We are to love as Christ loves. Other examples of love will fall short of sincerity and truth. Christ’s love is a love that lays down, gives up, and surrenders, to the benefit of the one that is loved. (1st John 3 vs 16)
It is a ‘giving’ call. If we truly love, we will give – our time, resources, our very self. It is usually sacrificial, the love that will win divine approval. (1st John 3 vs 17).
It is an ‘ACT’ of faith (James 2 vs 15 – 17; Romans 10 vs 12). It believes and accepts people no matter where they come from. Does not recognize ‘caste’ system or whatever class distinction. It is not just praying for people but doing things to help, to ease, to show concern for another person. It is not just ‘words’ of faith as we are taught to use, but acts, a demonstration of faith. The bible describes faith as love in action towards the needy.
Doesn’t harm (Romans 13 vs 10). Please, let’s learn not to offend one another, or hurt one another. When we love people, we try not to do them ill. Infact, we think our words through before we utter them. It will give us no joy if the person we love is in pain, or angry because of our action or word. If in any case we realize that we have stepped on the toes of someone we love, we quickly apologize; the happiness of the one we love is important to us.
Love speaks louder than every conviction or expression of religious pioneers, (1st Corinthians 13 vs 1 – 10). What an orator, who can soothe a tear! What a visioneer who can see the heart! How often people respect our gifts and bow to us in reverence to our spiritual power but people can’t live with you peaceably. Your claim to holiness threatens them. No one can work with you, not because you are doing what is right but because you are harsh, unforgiving, difficult, and lack sympathy. Some people don’t commit adultery but are simply difficult to work or live with. There is no beauty in their supposed holiness.
You have to look in a particular way to be able to love (Mark 10 vs 21 – 22). If you look at every detail, you won’t love anyone. There are things you have to look away from. How do you see a baby? How do you see their mistakes? Why is it easy to love children, because there is a way we look at them. There are things we refuse to see. If we want to truly love people, we have to look at them from an angle of their humanness, uniqueness, specialty, and overlook some of their excesses and weakness.
You can make someone love you by loving them. The price of love is love (Hebrew 10 vs 24). We stir up love in people. Love your wife, it will come back to you. Respect your husband, it will come back to you. Love him, he won’t want to hurt you. Deliberately practice love acts, whether you feel like it or not.
Love should be lasting (Hebrew 13 vs 1). Let it continue. Nothing is real if it doesn’t last. When Shaka Zulu’s mother died, he cried “nothing is real, nothing is permanent, everything dies if you could die”. Love is not worth it, if it is not eternal. Believe me. It is only when we continue living can we leave a lasting legacy.
IF Ministry
08027173447.

3 Major Differences Between Dating And Courting You Should Know

Ladies, did you know that there is a big difference between dating and courting. I know! I know! Most of us use the words interchangeably and we really need to stop doing that. I believe that a lot of our heartache and pain stems from not knowing the difference between the two. If we know the difference between dating and courting and put what we know into practice, the dating scene would not be as complicated as it is today. Relationships become complicated because we are in search for love but is going about it the wrong way to find it. Here are a few ways to know the differences and similarities between dating and courting: 1. When you are dating you should never meet his family. In this stage you are getting to know one another. You are learning things such as his likes and dislikes. Your goal is to learn as much as possible about each other without any outside influences. It is ok to meet the family if you are courting. 2. Dating is getting to know you. Courting is planning for marriage. During your dating stages you are acquaintances not lovers and cannot move into courting until both people can openly and honestly say we are courting with intentions of getting married. 3. s*x is a no no for both dating and courting. s*x should be reserved for marriage. If you have s*x in either the dating or courting stages you may risk the opportunity to actually become a bride. The old saying “why buy the whole cow if you can get the milk for free” still remains true in some cases. Yes ladies, some of these tips (and there are more) may be a hard pill to swallow but one needed to get our dating scene back to healthy and fun. Unless, you have decided that marriage isn’t for you, the dating stage should be short lived followed by courting. Remember ladies, being in love with the right person is the key to a happy and fulfilled life. Source: yourtango.com

3 Major Differences Between Dating And Courting You Should Know

Ladies, did you know that there is a big difference between dating and courting. I know! I know! Most of us use the words interchangeably and we really need to stop doing that. I believe that a lot of our heartache and pain stems from not knowing the difference between the two. If we know the difference between dating and courting and put what we know into practice, the dating scene would not be as complicated as it is today. Relationships become complicated because we are in search for love but is going about it the wrong way to find it. Here are a few ways to know the differences and similarities between dating and courting: 1. When you are dating you should never meet his family. In this stage you are getting to know one another. You are learning things such as his likes and dislikes. Your goal is to learn as much as possible about each other without any outside influences. It is ok to meet the family if you are courting. 2. Dating is getting to know you. Courting is planning for marriage. During your dating stages you are acquaintances not lovers and cannot move into courting until both people can openly and honestly say we are courting with intentions of getting married. 3. s*x is a no no for both dating and courting. s*x should be reserved for marriage. If you have s*x in either the dating or courting stages you may risk the opportunity to actually become a bride. The old saying “why buy the whole cow if you can get the milk for free” still remains true in some cases. Yes ladies, some of these tips (and there are more) may be a hard pill to swallow but one needed to get our dating scene back to healthy and fun. Unless, you have decided that marriage isn’t for you, the dating stage should be short lived followed by courting. Remember ladies, being in love with the right person is the key to a happy and fulfilled life. Source: yourtango.com

8 Ways to Confirm that You are in an Exclusive Relationship

With so many people hooking up nowadays, including the “friends with benefits” scenario, many are not sure if they are in a relationship or in a “situationship”, a word I saw recently on social media. Relationships are sometimes treated like clothing; some change them almost daily. Then there are others who don’t mind sharing in intimate relationships with multiple partners, which are many times unknown to the other participants. Regardless of what we see in media, there are many people who still have a strong desire for an exclusive relationship. They want someone to refer to them as “mine”.

Here are eight ways to confirm if your relationship is exclusive:
1. You are their number one priority. If they are already parents, then their children will be their top priority, but thereafter, you are it. Your needs are met by them; they want to know how they can help and serve you in every possible way. They want to know ALL about you – the good and the bad. When they find out things about you that you may be ashamed of, they don’t run away. They also work hard to see you smile.
2. They create boundaries with their other friendships (and family members) to ensure that the relationship is protected. If they have opposite-s*x friendships, they establish boundaries to ensure that their significant other doesn’t have to question or wonder about anything.
3. They have nothing to hide. Nothing is off-limits. No question is too intrusive. Passwords are shared. They want you to know that they can be trusted; they want to put your mind at ease.
4. They are 100% committed to you. No-one else has their heart. They have made great strides in ridding themselves of soul ties, and they have completely ended and severed previous relationships.
5. They want to help you build your dreams. They have amazing suggestions and ideas, and they are ready to roll up their sleeves to help you build. They are not intimidated by your goals and dreams, because they know you want them to be a part of it!
6. They are ready to share you with the world. After they have vetted you with close friends, mentors, family members and spiritual leaders, they want to tell the world that you belong to them. They will start introducing you to their wider circle so that everyone becomes aware of the relationship.
7. There is discussion of marriage. Pre-marital counseling is scheduled with a professional therapist or spiritual leader (or both). The input of an objective, professional third party into the relationship helps to bring blind spots into view, and helps to bring an exclusive couple (who are compatible) even closer to each other.
8. They prefer spending their spare time with you over anyone else. They want to be in your presence just to experience you as much as they can. Their friends may tease them, but it doesn’t matter. You have become an important and vital part of their world, and they want everyone (including you) to know that!
Being loved exclusively is an amazing experience. To be treasured above everyone else, and to know that your lover has your back at all times adds an element of security and confidence to life like nothing else can. Check the list, and look at your relationship to determine if you have signs of exclusivity. Be open to having that discussion!
Source: Blackandmarriedwithkids.com

8 Ways to Confirm that You are in an Exclusive Relationship

With so many people hooking up nowadays, including the “friends with benefits” scenario, many are not sure if they are in a relationship or in a “situationship”, a word I saw recently on social media. Relationships are sometimes treated like clothing; some change them almost daily. Then there are others who don’t mind sharing in intimate relationships with multiple partners, which are many times unknown to the other participants. Regardless of what we see in media, there are many people who still have a strong desire for an exclusive relationship. They want someone to refer to them as “mine”.

Here are eight ways to confirm if your relationship is exclusive:
1. You are their number one priority. If they are already parents, then their children will be their top priority, but thereafter, you are it. Your needs are met by them; they want to know how they can help and serve you in every possible way. They want to know ALL about you – the good and the bad. When they find out things about you that you may be ashamed of, they don’t run away. They also work hard to see you smile.
2. They create boundaries with their other friendships (and family members) to ensure that the relationship is protected. If they have opposite-s*x friendships, they establish boundaries to ensure that their significant other doesn’t have to question or wonder about anything.
3. They have nothing to hide. Nothing is off-limits. No question is too intrusive. Passwords are shared. They want you to know that they can be trusted; they want to put your mind at ease.
4. They are 100% committed to you. No-one else has their heart. They have made great strides in ridding themselves of soul ties, and they have completely ended and severed previous relationships.
5. They want to help you build your dreams. They have amazing suggestions and ideas, and they are ready to roll up their sleeves to help you build. They are not intimidated by your goals and dreams, because they know you want them to be a part of it!
6. They are ready to share you with the world. After they have vetted you with close friends, mentors, family members and spiritual leaders, they want to tell the world that you belong to them. They will start introducing you to their wider circle so that everyone becomes aware of the relationship.
7. There is discussion of marriage. Pre-marital counseling is scheduled with a professional therapist or spiritual leader (or both). The input of an objective, professional third party into the relationship helps to bring blind spots into view, and helps to bring an exclusive couple (who are compatible) even closer to each other.
8. They prefer spending their spare time with you over anyone else. They want to be in your presence just to experience you as much as they can. Their friends may tease them, but it doesn’t matter. You have become an important and vital part of their world, and they want everyone (including you) to know that!
Being loved exclusively is an amazing experience. To be treasured above everyone else, and to know that your lover has your back at all times adds an element of security and confidence to life like nothing else can. Check the list, and look at your relationship to determine if you have signs of exclusivity. Be open to having that discussion!
Source: Blackandmarriedwithkids.com

6 Best Ways to Make Your Child Love Reading

Reading is unbelievably important in everyone’s life. It increases vocabularies, improves academic performances, and is an excellent way to wind down after a long day. When all of these things are combined, it’s easy to see how important reading can be to any child—especially one who doesn’t enjoy it. Read on for tips to instill a love of reading in your child. Best Ways to Make Your Child Love Reading 1. Teach them to love stories Fictional reading is comprised of stories, and once your child learns to love stories, it’ll be easier to enjoy novels and other books as well. This can be done in numerous ways: let her watch a movie and enthuse about the story behind it. Ask her, “Wasn’t that story interesting? Don’t you think everything that happened was so cool?” Another way to do so is by telling her a bedtime story. Ask her what she liked and how she can find other similar stories. 2. Be a role model Read books in front of them, preferably ones with interesting covers, and encourage them to ask questions. Answer with detailed answers about why you like this book and how the plot makes it interesting. Teach them that if you can love reading, they can too. 3. Get the help of librarians It might be difficult for you to pick out the just-right book for your child, but librarians are trained to do so. Let your child speak to the librarian himself the next time you go to the library, and get him to bring home at least one book to start. And when he does, drum up some excitement about it! Don’t bombard him questions, but do pepper his reading time with a few inquiries about how he likes it so far. 4. Make your library a regular stop Go there regularly, as soon as your child finishes a book or two, and make the visit enjoyable. Treat going to the library as regular as breathing. Make it a staple of your life, and your child will understand the importance of going to the library and checking out and enjoying books. 5. Make reading a game Be fun, creative, and upbeat about it, and your attitude will rub off on your child. For example: Answer the Question can be a game. Have your child finish a book, and ask him questions. The more questions he answers correctly, the more rewards he gets. But remember to keep these rewards small—extravagant gifts at first can seem harmless, but these can escalate into a spoiled child soon! 6. Respect books If one has fallen on the floor, pick it up immediately. If your shelf is disorganized, straighten it out and make sure your books are situated perfectly. Let your child see these activities take place and let her participate in them too—in fact, encourage her to treat books with the respect they deserve. Use these techniques and some others to get your child to enjoy and love reading. Remember to make the most of your local library and its employees!

6 Best Ways to Make Your Child Love Reading

Reading is unbelievably important in everyone’s life. It increases vocabularies, improves academic performances, and is an excellent way to wind down after a long day. When all of these things are combined, it’s easy to see how important reading can be to any child—especially one who doesn’t enjoy it. Read on for tips to instill a love of reading in your child. Best Ways to Make Your Child Love Reading 1. Teach them to love stories Fictional reading is comprised of stories, and once your child learns to love stories, it’ll be easier to enjoy novels and other books as well. This can be done in numerous ways: let her watch a movie and enthuse about the story behind it. Ask her, “Wasn’t that story interesting? Don’t you think everything that happened was so cool?” Another way to do so is by telling her a bedtime story. Ask her what she liked and how she can find other similar stories. 2. Be a role model Read books in front of them, preferably ones with interesting covers, and encourage them to ask questions. Answer with detailed answers about why you like this book and how the plot makes it interesting. Teach them that if you can love reading, they can too. 3. Get the help of librarians It might be difficult for you to pick out the just-right book for your child, but librarians are trained to do so. Let your child speak to the librarian himself the next time you go to the library, and get him to bring home at least one book to start. And when he does, drum up some excitement about it! Don’t bombard him questions, but do pepper his reading time with a few inquiries about how he likes it so far. 4. Make your library a regular stop Go there regularly, as soon as your child finishes a book or two, and make the visit enjoyable. Treat going to the library as regular as breathing. Make it a staple of your life, and your child will understand the importance of going to the library and checking out and enjoying books. 5. Make reading a game Be fun, creative, and upbeat about it, and your attitude will rub off on your child. For example: Answer the Question can be a game. Have your child finish a book, and ask him questions. The more questions he answers correctly, the more rewards he gets. But remember to keep these rewards small—extravagant gifts at first can seem harmless, but these can escalate into a spoiled child soon! 6. Respect books If one has fallen on the floor, pick it up immediately. If your shelf is disorganized, straighten it out and make sure your books are situated perfectly. Let your child see these activities take place and let her participate in them too—in fact, encourage her to treat books with the respect they deserve. Use these techniques and some others to get your child to enjoy and love reading. Remember to make the most of your local library and its employees!

No.1 Hair Regrowth And Baldness Treatment Spray For African-American Men| MAXGRO

It’s no longer news that the rate of baldness and hair loss generally is on the increase especially amongst the youths. A receding hair line or balding head can be both embarrassing and uncomfortable leaving most hair loss sufferers confused as to how to stop their hair loss and restore normal hair growth process again.
Are you going bald? Good news- KemCorp Innovations has introduced the first hair regrowth and baldness treatment formula specifically adapted to stop hair loss in African-American men.
 
What is Maxgro?
Maxgro is a physician formulated highly effective and side-effect free hair re-growth treatment for black men. It is made of rare and potent herbal extracts, minerals and vitamins in combination with FDA approved pure grade minoxidil. Maxgro Herbal Hair Regrowth Spray was created due to a genuine need for a product specifically designed for hair loss prevention and healthy hair re-growth for the uniquely structured African –American hair type. Suitable for all types of hair loss including: male pattern baldness, alopecia areata, receding hair lines, crown area hair loss, thinning hair, seborrheic alopecia and complete baldness.
MAXGRO’s advanced technologies provide real solutions for reversing baldness, healthy hair re-growth and restoring hope and confidence to black men everywhere.

How To Use
For best results, spray on the affected area twice daily (morning and night) consistently for a period of 90days. Massage slightly upon each application and allow to dry. Use a mild shampoo to cleanse scalp at least once a week. Most users notice visible and sustainable hair growth in less than a month.
For Females Too?
Maxgro is safe and effective for females too. We recommend usage for females with severe cases of hair loss such as in cases of prolonged traction alopecia, alopecia areata and in female pattern baldness.

Features

• Healthier, thicker and fuller hair
• Contains natural DHT blockers
• Advanced fast acting formula
• Clinically tested and proven
• No side effects recorded
• Easy to use
• 95% success rate in black men
• 3 months treatment supply in a pack

For more information on maxgro or to place an order, visit
www.maxgro.com.ng
Tel:  +234(0)8181597803 OR+234 (0)8111947383

Maxgro is presently only sold online. If you have a beauty supply store or an online store and would like
to become one of our sales partners or distributors, please call any of the numbers above.

No.1 Hair Regrowth And Baldness Treatment Spray For African-American Men| MAXGRO

It’s no longer news that the rate of baldness and hair loss generally is on the increase especially amongst the youths. A receding hair line or balding head can be both embarrassing and uncomfortable leaving most hair loss sufferers confused as to how to stop their hair loss and restore normal hair growth process again.
Are you going bald? Good news- KemCorp Innovations has introduced the first hair regrowth and baldness treatment formula specifically adapted to stop hair loss in African-American men.
 
What is Maxgro?
Maxgro is a physician formulated highly effective and side-effect free hair re-growth treatment for black men. It is made of rare and potent herbal extracts, minerals and vitamins in combination with FDA approved pure grade minoxidil. Maxgro Herbal Hair Regrowth Spray was created due to a genuine need for a product specifically designed for hair loss prevention and healthy hair re-growth for the uniquely structured African –American hair type. Suitable for all types of hair loss including: male pattern baldness, alopecia areata, receding hair lines, crown area hair loss, thinning hair, seborrheic alopecia and complete baldness.
MAXGRO’s advanced technologies provide real solutions for reversing baldness, healthy hair re-growth and restoring hope and confidence to black men everywhere.

How To Use
For best results, spray on the affected area twice daily (morning and night) consistently for a period of 90days. Massage slightly upon each application and allow to dry. Use a mild shampoo to cleanse scalp at least once a week. Most users notice visible and sustainable hair growth in less than a month.
For Females Too?
Maxgro is safe and effective for females too. We recommend usage for females with severe cases of hair loss such as in cases of prolonged traction alopecia, alopecia areata and in female pattern baldness.

Features

• Healthier, thicker and fuller hair
• Contains natural DHT blockers
• Advanced fast acting formula
• Clinically tested and proven
• No side effects recorded
• Easy to use
• 95% success rate in black men
• 3 months treatment supply in a pack

For more information on maxgro or to place an order, visit
www.maxgro.com.ng
Tel:  +234(0)8181597803 OR+234 (0)8111947383

Maxgro is presently only sold online. If you have a beauty supply store or an online store and would like
to become one of our sales partners or distributors, please call any of the numbers above.

7 Relationship Problems You Should Stop Arguing About

Posted by: tosin on July 20, 2014

As a marriage counselor, I see all sorts of couples in my office. They come to me with problems ranging from infidelity to not putting the cap back on the toothpaste. When they decide to go to marriage counseling, most couples have decided that their problems are so big that they need to get it sorted out — or else. However, there are a lot of problems couples have that aren’t really problems at all. They’re small enough that it’s not really worth the argument.

Seven Problems You Should Stop Arguing About
1. No s*x
As I said in another article, s*x is a healthy and important part of marriage. So it’s no wonder when couples fight about it — especially when they aren’t having it. The truth is, fighting about s*x is just making sure that it doesn’t happen for a while. Besides, lots of people have “dry spells”. Instead of sulking or arguing about it, try talking it through with your partner. Tell them exactly what you’re mad about and offer suggestions of what you both can do differently. Like I said, s*x is an important part of marriage so if it’s not happening much (or at all), then you may have some hard discussions ahead. But, just getting turned down once in a while is not a good reason for an argument.
2. My partner wants to have s*x all the time
Physical intimacy is the one thing that sets you and your partner apart from being roommates. Because of this, s*x is an important part of your marriage. It’s a unique way that you and your partner can express love, passion and romance that you can’t express with just anyone. So why complain when your partner wants to be intimate? It’s a great way to express love to each other. And it’s a lot more fun than browsing Facebook at night.
3. He or she doesn’t put the cap back on the toothpaste
I’ve never met someone who has divorced because their partner didn’t put the cap on the toothpaste. But I have seen plenty of couples argue about it (or something like it) over and over again. The truth is, it’s really not that big of a relationship violation and if it’s not worth divorcing about, it’s probably not really worth arguing about, either.
4. He doesn’t treat me like a princess
.
In the dating world, men are responsible to do everything. They’re supposed to be the ones to ask the girl out, they’re suppose to pay for the date and they’re supposed to treat their girl like a chivalrous knight in shining armor would. And if he does all this right, he gets rewarded with another date with her. Unfortunately, these unrealistic expectations set in the dating world don’t apply very well in marriage. A marriage is a partnership and expecting to be treated like a princess is expecting your husband to be a servant. Neither of these roles will work long-term in your marriage.
5. I shouldn’t have to ask — my partner should just know
In the business world, everyone knows you should communicate openly with your team — even over-communicate if possible. But there’s an unspoken expectation in marriage that you shouldn’t have to tell your partner what you want. If they really loved you, they would just know. Then, they should work their hardest to give you what you want. Instead of asking your partner to be “in tune” enough with you to know what you want, openly communicate your expectations just like you would at work. It’s a romantic idea that your partner magically knows what you want. It’s also a false one that has caused too many unnecessary arguments.
6. Who started it
“Well, I wouldn’t have done X if you wouldn’t have done Y.” I hate to break it to you, but just because your spouse did X, that doesn’t give you permission to do Y. In other words, you’re just as responsible for doing Y regardless of what your spouse did. Because of this, it doesn’t matter who started it. Each spouse is equally to blame. So, stop fighting about who started it and work together to try to find an ending to it.
7. Who said or did what and when
Remember at that Christmas party when your spouse did that one thing that really embarrassed you or made you angry? Well, it’s time to bury the hatchet and get over it. Fighting about things from the past will never do any good because you can’t go back in time and re-do them. Instead, focus on things in the present and what you can do today to repair the damage. Ask for specific things that will help you feel healed (see number 5 above) and give your spouse the opportunity to show you that he or she will do it.
These seven things are some of the most common arguments that happen in marriage. They’re also some of the most unnecessary ones. And, they usually cause a lot of hurt. When you stop these arguments, it’s amazing what you come up with instead. You’ll normally find that these arguments get replaced with good old fashioned communicating. And, a lot more fun with your spouse, too.

7 Relationship Problems You Should Stop Arguing About

Posted by: tosin on July 20, 2014

As a marriage counselor, I see all sorts of couples in my office. They come to me with problems ranging from infidelity to not putting the cap back on the toothpaste. When they decide to go to marriage counseling, most couples have decided that their problems are so big that they need to get it sorted out — or else. However, there are a lot of problems couples have that aren’t really problems at all. They’re small enough that it’s not really worth the argument.

Seven Problems You Should Stop Arguing About
1. No s*x
As I said in another article, s*x is a healthy and important part of marriage. So it’s no wonder when couples fight about it — especially when they aren’t having it. The truth is, fighting about s*x is just making sure that it doesn’t happen for a while. Besides, lots of people have “dry spells”. Instead of sulking or arguing about it, try talking it through with your partner. Tell them exactly what you’re mad about and offer suggestions of what you both can do differently. Like I said, s*x is an important part of marriage so if it’s not happening much (or at all), then you may have some hard discussions ahead. But, just getting turned down once in a while is not a good reason for an argument.
2. My partner wants to have s*x all the time
Physical intimacy is the one thing that sets you and your partner apart from being roommates. Because of this, s*x is an important part of your marriage. It’s a unique way that you and your partner can express love, passion and romance that you can’t express with just anyone. So why complain when your partner wants to be intimate? It’s a great way to express love to each other. And it’s a lot more fun than browsing Facebook at night.
3. He or she doesn’t put the cap back on the toothpaste
I’ve never met someone who has divorced because their partner didn’t put the cap on the toothpaste. But I have seen plenty of couples argue about it (or something like it) over and over again. The truth is, it’s really not that big of a relationship violation and if it’s not worth divorcing about, it’s probably not really worth arguing about, either.
4. He doesn’t treat me like a princess
.
In the dating world, men are responsible to do everything. They’re supposed to be the ones to ask the girl out, they’re suppose to pay for the date and they’re supposed to treat their girl like a chivalrous knight in shining armor would. And if he does all this right, he gets rewarded with another date with her. Unfortunately, these unrealistic expectations set in the dating world don’t apply very well in marriage. A marriage is a partnership and expecting to be treated like a princess is expecting your husband to be a servant. Neither of these roles will work long-term in your marriage.
5. I shouldn’t have to ask — my partner should just know
In the business world, everyone knows you should communicate openly with your team — even over-communicate if possible. But there’s an unspoken expectation in marriage that you shouldn’t have to tell your partner what you want. If they really loved you, they would just know. Then, they should work their hardest to give you what you want. Instead of asking your partner to be “in tune” enough with you to know what you want, openly communicate your expectations just like you would at work. It’s a romantic idea that your partner magically knows what you want. It’s also a false one that has caused too many unnecessary arguments.
6. Who started it
“Well, I wouldn’t have done X if you wouldn’t have done Y.” I hate to break it to you, but just because your spouse did X, that doesn’t give you permission to do Y. In other words, you’re just as responsible for doing Y regardless of what your spouse did. Because of this, it doesn’t matter who started it. Each spouse is equally to blame. So, stop fighting about who started it and work together to try to find an ending to it.
7. Who said or did what and when
Remember at that Christmas party when your spouse did that one thing that really embarrassed you or made you angry? Well, it’s time to bury the hatchet and get over it. Fighting about things from the past will never do any good because you can’t go back in time and re-do them. Instead, focus on things in the present and what you can do today to repair the damage. Ask for specific things that will help you feel healed (see number 5 above) and give your spouse the opportunity to show you that he or she will do it.
These seven things are some of the most common arguments that happen in marriage. They’re also some of the most unnecessary ones. And, they usually cause a lot of hurt. When you stop these arguments, it’s amazing what you come up with instead. You’ll normally find that these arguments get replaced with good old fashioned communicating. And, a lot more fun with your spouse, too.