Must Read – Who Recovers Faster from Heartbreak – Men or Women?

Lately I have heard a lot of women say that men struggle more with moving on. You always see situations where the man just won’t let go no matter how hard the woman tries to tell him it’s over. It could be years since the breakup, and that man is still trying to get her back and make something happen.

Of course, we see women struggle too …but on the surface they seem to reach a point where they have moved on a lot quicker, well that is what many believe. They shed plenty of tears and experienced many sleepless nights. But now they appear to have accepted that it’s over. However, I don’t believe women recover faster than men. I also don’t believe men are better at moving on either. There are a lot of misunderstandings that lead to a belief that one moves on faster than the other, but lets take a deeper look.
Many women eventually learn the skill of “managing their emotions”. They have enough experiences of being emotionally vulnerable that they understand how to deal with them (in a way that they are “comfortable” with). They also learn how to take greater control by not putting themselves in emotionally vulnerable positions.
In many cases, when that woman experiences heartbreak with a man she is truly in love with (has a deep and genuine connection with him) there is only so much she is willing to deal with emotionally. She has addressed her feelings to a certain extent, but she isn’t willing to deal with it anymore and wants to get her “emotional control” back.
When she reaches that “this is enough” point, it would seem to others that she has moved on. What is actually happening, in many cases, is that she is simply stuffing her feelings away in an emotional closet. She will then lock the door and find enough distractions (work, kids, another man, etc) to allow her to believe and portray that she is “over it”. In reality, the feelings are still there and the right kind of moment/event can bust that door wide open.
The thing is other people may never witness when that moment occurs. That woman may do everything in her power to not let anyone see what is going on inside of her (maybe a very close friend will catch a glimpse). She will have her “moment” and then she will proceed to place everything back in that closet, lock the door, and get back to her distractions.
With men it is a little different. Men are not typically raised to be in touch with their emotions and many struggle with learning how to manage them. They are taught to “suck it up” “man up” and simply suppress what they feel without addressing it at all. Add that to the fact that a lot of men don’t find themselves “in love” with a woman many times in their life. So when it does happen, this emotional vulnerability is very foreign and rare to them.
So for this to occur and end in disappointment, the man may find it all very difficult to handle. Some will wear it on their sleeve because they don’t know, haven’t learned, or believe they shouldn’t contain this emotion that they are now experiencing. Others will just attempt to suppress the pain because that is what they know how to do. They will pretty much attempt the same stuffing of the emotional closet that I stated with the women. The difference is when the door busts wide open, it is likely to be seen one way or another.
They haven’t learned the same “emotional control” that a lot of women have because they are not accustomed to dealing with emotions like this. Not to mention all of the other things they may have already stuffed in their emotional closet. This doesn’t allow for this new situation to stay in as easily.
Basically, because women are typically raised to deal with their emotions they learn how to organize their closet. They can keep more tucked away in it without it breaking the door down as quickly and easily. Whereas men are more likely to just throw stuff in there. This creates an inability to keep it all in as consistently and may generate bigger outbursts of emotion (verbal abuse, physical abuse, struggles with heartbreak, etc).
Ultimately, I don’t believe either gender recovers faster than the other when it involves a person they had a genuine and deep connection with. I won’t rule out that some cases may vary and sometimes the approach can be reversed. For the most part, I just believe that men and women handle it differently and it produces different results from what we are able to see. It may seem that a person has “moved on” and on the surface they may have. I believe in many situations if we took a deeper look you would find that the feelings actually still exist and the recovery never fully occurred.
Whats your take on this Skazyupdate readers????
Source: Blackandmarriedwithkids.com

Must Read – Who Recovers Faster from Heartbreak – Men or Women?

Lately I have heard a lot of women say that men struggle more with moving on. You always see situations where the man just won’t let go no matter how hard the woman tries to tell him it’s over. It could be years since the breakup, and that man is still trying to get her back and make something happen.

Of course, we see women struggle too …but on the surface they seem to reach a point where they have moved on a lot quicker, well that is what many believe. They shed plenty of tears and experienced many sleepless nights. But now they appear to have accepted that it’s over. However, I don’t believe women recover faster than men. I also don’t believe men are better at moving on either. There are a lot of misunderstandings that lead to a belief that one moves on faster than the other, but lets take a deeper look.
Many women eventually learn the skill of “managing their emotions”. They have enough experiences of being emotionally vulnerable that they understand how to deal with them (in a way that they are “comfortable” with). They also learn how to take greater control by not putting themselves in emotionally vulnerable positions.
In many cases, when that woman experiences heartbreak with a man she is truly in love with (has a deep and genuine connection with him) there is only so much she is willing to deal with emotionally. She has addressed her feelings to a certain extent, but she isn’t willing to deal with it anymore and wants to get her “emotional control” back.
When she reaches that “this is enough” point, it would seem to others that she has moved on. What is actually happening, in many cases, is that she is simply stuffing her feelings away in an emotional closet. She will then lock the door and find enough distractions (work, kids, another man, etc) to allow her to believe and portray that she is “over it”. In reality, the feelings are still there and the right kind of moment/event can bust that door wide open.
The thing is other people may never witness when that moment occurs. That woman may do everything in her power to not let anyone see what is going on inside of her (maybe a very close friend will catch a glimpse). She will have her “moment” and then she will proceed to place everything back in that closet, lock the door, and get back to her distractions.
With men it is a little different. Men are not typically raised to be in touch with their emotions and many struggle with learning how to manage them. They are taught to “suck it up” “man up” and simply suppress what they feel without addressing it at all. Add that to the fact that a lot of men don’t find themselves “in love” with a woman many times in their life. So when it does happen, this emotional vulnerability is very foreign and rare to them.
So for this to occur and end in disappointment, the man may find it all very difficult to handle. Some will wear it on their sleeve because they don’t know, haven’t learned, or believe they shouldn’t contain this emotion that they are now experiencing. Others will just attempt to suppress the pain because that is what they know how to do. They will pretty much attempt the same stuffing of the emotional closet that I stated with the women. The difference is when the door busts wide open, it is likely to be seen one way or another.
They haven’t learned the same “emotional control” that a lot of women have because they are not accustomed to dealing with emotions like this. Not to mention all of the other things they may have already stuffed in their emotional closet. This doesn’t allow for this new situation to stay in as easily.
Basically, because women are typically raised to deal with their emotions they learn how to organize their closet. They can keep more tucked away in it without it breaking the door down as quickly and easily. Whereas men are more likely to just throw stuff in there. This creates an inability to keep it all in as consistently and may generate bigger outbursts of emotion (verbal abuse, physical abuse, struggles with heartbreak, etc).
Ultimately, I don’t believe either gender recovers faster than the other when it involves a person they had a genuine and deep connection with. I won’t rule out that some cases may vary and sometimes the approach can be reversed. For the most part, I just believe that men and women handle it differently and it produces different results from what we are able to see. It may seem that a person has “moved on” and on the surface they may have. I believe in many situations if we took a deeper look you would find that the feelings actually still exist and the recovery never fully occurred.
Whats your take on this Skazyupdate readers????
Source: Blackandmarriedwithkids.com

High Court instructs Botswana to provide free ARVs to foreign prisoners

Picture: THINKSTOCK

BOTSWANA’s government was instructed by the High Court in Gaborone on Friday to provide and pay for antiretroviral (ARV) treatment for HIV-positive foreign prisoners.
The court held that the denial of ARV treatment to foreign prisoners violated Botswana’s constitutional rights. Botswana has one of the world’s highest rates of HIV infection and prisoners who are citizens of the country receive free HIV treatment. Prisoners who are not citizens have hitherto had to pay for the treatment.
The challenge was launched by the Southern Africa Litigation Centre with the Botswana Network on Ethics, Law and HIV/AIDS and two HIV-positive foreign prisoners.
Priti Patel, the centre’s deputy director, said that the state had failed to prove its claim that it could not afford to provide ARV treatment to foreign prisoners.
"If you are going to argue cost, you have to show evidence of that," she said.
In its ruling the court said providing free ARV treatment to non-citizen prisoners would help prevent the spread of HIV and other opportunistic infections, such as tuberculosis.

High Court instructs Botswana to provide free ARVs to foreign prisoners

Picture: THINKSTOCK

BOTSWANA’s government was instructed by the High Court in Gaborone on Friday to provide and pay for antiretroviral (ARV) treatment for HIV-positive foreign prisoners.
The court held that the denial of ARV treatment to foreign prisoners violated Botswana’s constitutional rights. Botswana has one of the world’s highest rates of HIV infection and prisoners who are citizens of the country receive free HIV treatment. Prisoners who are not citizens have hitherto had to pay for the treatment.
The challenge was launched by the Southern Africa Litigation Centre with the Botswana Network on Ethics, Law and HIV/AIDS and two HIV-positive foreign prisoners.
Priti Patel, the centre’s deputy director, said that the state had failed to prove its claim that it could not afford to provide ARV treatment to foreign prisoners.
"If you are going to argue cost, you have to show evidence of that," she said.
In its ruling the court said providing free ARV treatment to non-citizen prisoners would help prevent the spread of HIV and other opportunistic infections, such as tuberculosis.

Does Coconut Oil Help You Lose Weight?

Due to the high fat content in coconut oil, people tend to think that the oil is dangerous for weight loss. When looking at fats, it is important to consider that not all fats are created equal. Saturated, unsaturated, and trans fats are the fats that we normally seen in food. Each one of these fats acts differently within the body, and some of these fats are helpful for our health. One of the worst types of fats is trans fatty acid because it is an artificial fat. Trans fatty acids are usually found in processed foods to extend their shelf life.
Coconut oil is considered a miracle oil by some because it is a good fat. The best types fats to eat are unsaturated fats because the body can use them more efficiently as an energy source, when compared to other fats. Eating fats that are efficient energy sources, make weight loss much easier. Fat provides energy for the body, when the energy is not used it tends to turn into extra pounds. Coconut oil is wonderful for weight loss because it normally doesn’t get stored as fat. Coconut oil is thermogenic, meaning that eating it can increase energy expenditure. The thermogenic properties of coconut oil means that it can boosts your metabolism and help destroy that excess abdominal fat.
Whats you take on this viewers???????????????

Does Coconut Oil Help You Lose Weight?

Due to the high fat content in coconut oil, people tend to think that the oil is dangerous for weight loss. When looking at fats, it is important to consider that not all fats are created equal. Saturated, unsaturated, and trans fats are the fats that we normally seen in food. Each one of these fats acts differently within the body, and some of these fats are helpful for our health. One of the worst types of fats is trans fatty acid because it is an artificial fat. Trans fatty acids are usually found in processed foods to extend their shelf life.
Coconut oil is considered a miracle oil by some because it is a good fat. The best types fats to eat are unsaturated fats because the body can use them more efficiently as an energy source, when compared to other fats. Eating fats that are efficient energy sources, make weight loss much easier. Fat provides energy for the body, when the energy is not used it tends to turn into extra pounds. Coconut oil is wonderful for weight loss because it normally doesn’t get stored as fat. Coconut oil is thermogenic, meaning that eating it can increase energy expenditure. The thermogenic properties of coconut oil means that it can boosts your metabolism and help destroy that excess abdominal fat.
Whats you take on this viewers???????????????

Benefit of kissing

 

Kissing – is a language which is known all over the globe. It is easiest way of showing affection to your partner and telling them that you them. But there is more to kissing than just affection or lust. Did you know that kissing not only helps to improve your bond with your partner but it also provides a range of health benefits? Today, we list down top 10 benefits you will receive when you smooch your sweetheart. Read it and don’t forget to share with your partner. 

Keeps Your Teeth Pearly-White

Kissing is one of the natural ways of cleaning your teeth; wondering how? Dr. Stephen D’souza – Dental Practitioner says – kissing helps to break down the oral plaque and prevents cavities by the creation of saliva, which helps to keep bacteria away. Saliva which is created while kissing washes out your mouth, and removes the cavity causing food particles, thereby preventing decay. So start kissing everyday and spark your love with your partner and get cleaner teeth.

Boosts Immunity

A recent study reported in the journal Medical Hypotheses says that kissing may increase a woman's immunity from Cytomegalovirus. Cytomegalovirus, contracted through mouth to mouth contact, can cause infant blindness and other birth defects if the mother is a carrier during pregnancy. This virus is only harmful, if the woman is pregnant, otherwise it is totally harmless.

Calorie Buster

Kissing at least for a minute will help you to lose approximately 2-3 calories. To burn some calories, it is important that your kissing should be intense. Kissing also helps to double your metabolic rate. Thus, if you want to lose some calories without much hard work, then go on a kissing diet.

Boosts Cardiovascular Health

Adrenaline - the chemical or the hormone which is released from your body when you kiss your partner helps to promote heart health. This hormone makes your heart pump more blood around your body. This further helps to lower blood pressure and improves blood circulation in the body. So start kissing to maintain the health of your heart.

Stress Reliever

Had a bad day? Just kiss your partner and your head will be filled with all the positive feelings post-kissing. Kissing is a very good stress-reliever, as it helps to lower down the level of cortisol in your body and helps you to relax. A passionate kiss will make you smile and forget all the sorrows of your life. Instead of popping antidepressant pills, start kissing your partners to be happy.

Tones Your Facial Muscles

A passionate kiss involves movement of 34 facial muscles and up to 112 postural muscles in the rest of the body, which helps to keep your muscles tight and toned. A kissing session will increase the blood circulation of your face and give you a younger looking complexion.

Benefit of kissing

 

Kissing – is a language which is known all over the globe. It is easiest way of showing affection to your partner and telling them that you them. But there is more to kissing than just affection or lust. Did you know that kissing not only helps to improve your bond with your partner but it also provides a range of health benefits? Today, we list down top 10 benefits you will receive when you smooch your sweetheart. Read it and don’t forget to share with your partner. 

Keeps Your Teeth Pearly-White

Kissing is one of the natural ways of cleaning your teeth; wondering how? Dr. Stephen D’souza – Dental Practitioner says – kissing helps to break down the oral plaque and prevents cavities by the creation of saliva, which helps to keep bacteria away. Saliva which is created while kissing washes out your mouth, and removes the cavity causing food particles, thereby preventing decay. So start kissing everyday and spark your love with your partner and get cleaner teeth.

Boosts Immunity

A recent study reported in the journal Medical Hypotheses says that kissing may increase a woman's immunity from Cytomegalovirus. Cytomegalovirus, contracted through mouth to mouth contact, can cause infant blindness and other birth defects if the mother is a carrier during pregnancy. This virus is only harmful, if the woman is pregnant, otherwise it is totally harmless.

Calorie Buster

Kissing at least for a minute will help you to lose approximately 2-3 calories. To burn some calories, it is important that your kissing should be intense. Kissing also helps to double your metabolic rate. Thus, if you want to lose some calories without much hard work, then go on a kissing diet.

Boosts Cardiovascular Health

Adrenaline - the chemical or the hormone which is released from your body when you kiss your partner helps to promote heart health. This hormone makes your heart pump more blood around your body. This further helps to lower blood pressure and improves blood circulation in the body. So start kissing to maintain the health of your heart.

Stress Reliever

Had a bad day? Just kiss your partner and your head will be filled with all the positive feelings post-kissing. Kissing is a very good stress-reliever, as it helps to lower down the level of cortisol in your body and helps you to relax. A passionate kiss will make you smile and forget all the sorrows of your life. Instead of popping antidepressant pills, start kissing your partners to be happy.

Tones Your Facial Muscles

A passionate kiss involves movement of 34 facial muscles and up to 112 postural muscles in the rest of the body, which helps to keep your muscles tight and toned. A kissing session will increase the blood circulation of your face and give you a younger looking complexion.

My wife accuse me : I have Never cheated – Never while Dating, or while married.

I have never cheated – never while dating, “going steady”, or married. I never thought I could. I have had the sound moral foundation that kept me strong and the willingness to go to my wife with any desire or other bit of communication. It makes sense in all ways to avoid that mess, considering the risks.
My wife believes that men are cheaters, and for the majority of our 10+ year marriage accused me of cheating for one reason or another. I shaved my beard – cheater! Started hitting the gym – cheater! Working late – cheater! Want to get a haircut every 2 weeks rather than every 6 – cheater! Buying clothes, taking up scuba, joining clubs, having friends, you name it.
Well – I do get a lot of looks and advances. Keeping healthy and fit has paid off, and the professional job ensures I am always wearing my “big boy” clothes. My wife has had to dismiss a few friends after they got too amorous in one way or another. But I have never wanted to meet them halfway and engage these ladies’ interest.
40 is a few years away now, and I am starting to wonder. It’s not quite a midlife crisis, but more of a supervillain kind of curiosity. Could I get away with it? Should I go ahead and follow the presumption that all men cheat and take the plunge?
I have already got it all set up. Read up on the ways that cheaters get caught as well as how to get away with it. Get a disposable phone, alias with background, fake social network and dating site accounts, a stream of money going to a private account, rechargeable credit card, a change of clothes / toiletries stashed at work, condoms.
So…do I do it? I wonder if it’s really so easy for guys to get into…and get away with it…

My wife accuse me : I have Never cheated – Never while Dating, or while married.

I have never cheated – never while dating, “going steady”, or married. I never thought I could. I have had the sound moral foundation that kept me strong and the willingness to go to my wife with any desire or other bit of communication. It makes sense in all ways to avoid that mess, considering the risks.
My wife believes that men are cheaters, and for the majority of our 10+ year marriage accused me of cheating for one reason or another. I shaved my beard – cheater! Started hitting the gym – cheater! Working late – cheater! Want to get a haircut every 2 weeks rather than every 6 – cheater! Buying clothes, taking up scuba, joining clubs, having friends, you name it.
Well – I do get a lot of looks and advances. Keeping healthy and fit has paid off, and the professional job ensures I am always wearing my “big boy” clothes. My wife has had to dismiss a few friends after they got too amorous in one way or another. But I have never wanted to meet them halfway and engage these ladies’ interest.
40 is a few years away now, and I am starting to wonder. It’s not quite a midlife crisis, but more of a supervillain kind of curiosity. Could I get away with it? Should I go ahead and follow the presumption that all men cheat and take the plunge?
I have already got it all set up. Read up on the ways that cheaters get caught as well as how to get away with it. Get a disposable phone, alias with background, fake social network and dating site accounts, a stream of money going to a private account, rechargeable credit card, a change of clothes / toiletries stashed at work, condoms.
So…do I do it? I wonder if it’s really so easy for guys to get into…and get away with it…

Couples Who Spend Most Time on Twitter and OTHER SOCIAL NETWORKS Are More Likely To Be Unfaithful & Break Up

 
Do you and your spouse spend much time on twitter or any of the social networks ? Then you are likely to cheat and break up,says a new research by PhD student Russell Clayton from the University of Missouri-Columbia. Too much tweeting and chatting leads to arguments, often about the amount spent on the social media network, as well as jealousy about who […]
Prove me wrong......

 

Couples Who Spend Most Time on Twitter and OTHER SOCIAL NETWORKS Are More Likely To Be Unfaithful & Break Up

 
Do you and your spouse spend much time on twitter or any of the social networks ? Then you are likely to cheat and break up,says a new research by PhD student Russell Clayton from the University of Missouri-Columbia. Too much tweeting and chatting leads to arguments, often about the amount spent on the social media network, as well as jealousy about who […]
Prove me wrong......

 

Miss FCT Nigeria, Bertha Eke, stunning in new photos

Miss F.C.T Nigeria 2014 Queen Bertha Eke has released new photos of herself. Bertha won the pageant in May in Abuja. See more photos after the cut...
What do you think??????to me i think she is superb.....

Miss FCT Nigeria, Bertha Eke, stunning in new photos

Miss F.C.T Nigeria 2014 Queen Bertha Eke has released new photos of herself. Bertha won the pageant in May in Abuja. See more photos after the cut...
What do you think??????to me i think she is superb.....

Photos: Rihanna & Chris Brown cross paths at charity game in NYC

Must have been so awkward. Rihanna sat court-side as she watched her ex boyfriend Chris Brown at a Roc Nation celeb charity basketball game at the Barclays Center in New York yesterday Thursday August 21st. Drake wasn't there and neither was Karrueche Tran. See more photos after the cut...