Make Him Commitment-Ready

THIS scenario happens a lot with us women: We fall in love with guys and after we are completely in love with that particular guy, he then tells us he is not ready for commitment. What would you do if that happens?
  Dealing with heart-breaking situations like this is not an easy task, but I will share with you how you can get yourself out of this kind of situation.
  What do you do with guys who are not ready for a relationship, but at the same time do not want to stop talking to you? I believe the strategy for dealing with guys who are “not ready” is always the same.
  Basically, you have to ask yourself two questions. One: Do You Want A Steady Relationship? This is because if you are just looking for a guy to chat, spend time and cuddle with on a regular basis, then you are in no trouble. 
  But if you do want a steady relationship, then you need to ask yourself the second question:
  How Long Are You Willing To Wait? Three Months? Six Months? One year?
  My suggestion will be to ask him about his plans. Do not be afraid about asking a guy how much time he needs to “get ready.” You will often get an answer, even if it is a vague one, like “I don’t know... 6 months, a year, maybe...”
  If you are okay with his time frame, then I encourage you to wait. If he truly loves you, he will stay true to his word, simply because he would rather sacrifice his comfort than hurt your feelings.
  But here is the sad reality about the “waiting” game: Waiting will not guarantee his commitment. 
  The second-worst case scenario is that you might be waiting for nothing. After waiting one year, three years, five years past his deadline, he is still not ready and you realise, too late, that you have wasted several years of your life waiting for nothing. And that could be terrible.
  But that is just the second worst thing that could happen.
  The absolute worse-case scenario is when you make the mistake of pressuring him into a relationship. I hope I was clear on that last statement.
  Here is why pushing the relationship is a bad idea. When you wait, you are putting yourself in a 50-50 situation. There is a chance that he will finally be ready for a serious relationship after you wait long enough. There is also a chance that he will still not be ready after all that waiting.
  But when you pressure him into the relationship, it is much worse. You are basically giving yourself a zero per cent chance of happiness, because pressure scares men away.
  The moment he feels you are pressuring him, he will want to get away from you, fast. And even if he does not run away, even if he does agree to start a relationship with you, it will not last very long, simply because the relationship was not his idea. 
  So, as painful as it may sound, if you want a chance at true love with him, then you will need to wait.
  Another advice I will give you is to make the wait worth it. I am going to share with you a simple fact about guys every woman should know.
  Guys change their hearts and minds very quickly when they meet that one special woman who totally rocks their world. She is the kind of woman who instantly and effortlessly makes them feel secure and loved, who makes them feel validated and acknowledged and who makes their lives easier and more enjoyable just by being there.
  Suddenly, from being flaky and “not ready,” these guys become focused, driven and passionate. They stop seeing other women. They start taking their work seriously. They start planning for the future with her in it. Sounds unreal, right?
  Now, let us flash right back to the hard reality of things. If you are in love with a man, but he keeps telling you he is “not ready,” then it simply means he does not see you as “the one”... yet. And that means you have got to move fast.
  Firstly, you have got to ask yourself: “Am I making his life harder or easier?” This is because sometimes, we focus so much on a guy’s flaws that we do not see our own and so we got to fix our own flaws first before we can fix his. That is just how life is.
 And secondly, if you are 100 per cent sure you are not doing anything wrong, ask yourself a second question: “Is there something in his past that is keeping him from loving again?”
  One of the main reasons why guys are “not ready for relationships” is “pain.” They may have gone through a divorce or maybe their last partner cheated on them or they have had several bad experiences in love before.
  Like I mentioned earlier, he will need a little time to prepare himself for taking the risk again. It may take three months, six months, one year or more.
  I am sure you all have heard of the saying: “Time heals all wounds?” You might think that is what he is doing during the “wait.” You might think you are letting time heal his wounds of the past.
  But you know what? I do not really believe “time heals wounds.” At least, time cannot do that on its own. To heal wounds, you need to replace your bad past experiences with new, good ones as time goes by.
  Ladies, that is what I mean by “making the wait worth it!” While you are waiting for him to “get ready,” get busy by replacing his bad past experiences with other women with good new experiences with you!
  Show him that you are someone who loves life, someone who, when he keeps mulling over a problem, would tell him: “Let’s not worry about that right now. Why don’t we just do something fun?”
  Show him that you have your own dreams, besides your future relationship with him. Advance your career, go for a course, read books, learn new skills and more. Be alive!
  And most importantly, show him that you have your life completely in control, even if you are waiting for him to “get ready.” Tell him: “I love you, and I am looking forward to the time you are completely ready to give us a chance. That way I can enjoy our love without holding back.”
  Imagine never having to worry anymore. Imagine the two of you, an official couple, enjoying a
beautifully happy relationship together. Imagine growing your relationship patiently and lovingly every single day. Imagine having great conversations with him every single day and each one of them deepening your relationship and moving you forward as a couple. Is that not awesome?
  Ladies, that is what happens when he sees you as “the one.” He will stop seeing other women because, quite simply, there is no need for him to keep looking anymore.
  So, yes, he might not be ready right now. Yes, you might have to wait a little, but do not just wait, make the wait worth it.
  To the loving relationships we all deserve, good luck in love and life. Cheers!